Looking deeper inside my money wounds and resistances

I am finding how, I priced my project in a way that it is going to leave space for other artists to say bad things about me. I am listening to them around me already, how this is sponsored and that isn't, how all want to make more but they give them no chances.

I want to free myself from all these anarchocommunist ideas. I want to be free. I want to be making money. I want to be independent but I also want to allow myself to charge for my work and stop that silly teenage, poor and disilusioned, hippy mindset. I want to grow but I am met with my past self in every corner.

I carry so much guilt around not earning more than others, and especially other artists and especially other artists in my community. It is easier when you are a poor artist and fitting in the cliches about how realness and authenticity aren't paid, about how being true to oneself is the reason why you are being stuck and all these.

I want free from all these. I know my integrity and my value now. I don't care if my project is being sponsored in the end of the day, if it gets sponsored because it is a cheap project.

Don't get me wrong, it is still not an expensive project. But my guilt is bigger than the amount which I suggested.

Phew. Let's see. I am trying to not make mistakes..