From here to the urn
Aspirations worded indicates not having them yet, having them means embodying them, not spelling them out. I may never evolve past that stage.
I spell out here the modus operandi, so that I can keep it fresh in my head, so as to follow the rules, the rules of getting by without any difficulty, smooth sailing rules.
There is to be no spending on anything besides -- 1) food and groceries, only what I need 2) smokes and 3) gummies or anything from the cannabis shop.
If I watch anything for entertainment it must be absolutely free, there's a fair selection out there, but I must not use any service which puts my PC at risk.
I am thus to be a fiscally responsible person, but also to work gradually on tidying the place up, and be generally more active, careful not to injure myself.
There's 2 major monetary expenses I work towards:
1. An exterminator to wipe out all the rodents and
2. A cremation funeral for myself
But before that I must be working on resolving my 1,550 debt, my bro called it small, when I said oh could it be bigger he strongly advised against it, it's like he teases me into a logical fallacy.
My greatest day to day pleasure is from reading, and from the nice people on SW, and music, but even music is limited, a good symphony, concerto and so on is almost as undoable as films and shows which I dismantled in my previous post.
If I have any room left for films it will be from the good tv here and only with silent films, those are the items I will never sell, unless i'm bedridden in a hospital and need to sell them to pay for anything.
For it is the silent era that endures for me, however I can never anymore buy more of them, all my books, and films that I have now will have to suffice unless they are available for free.
All of this would change if I ever won the lottery or anything like that, but as I do not buy tickets, and I don't think i'm named in any rich person's will my plan here stated will most likely stick.
For new books even if I can get them for free, I must consider the time element, gone shall be the enthusiasm felt when some book is referenced in a footnote and I cheer seeing it for free, I shall only cheer when it's a volume i've always wanted, like that Frances Farmer book she probably didn't write called Will There Ever Be a Morning or something like that, my mom told me about that quite a bit and it's got a legendary status in my mind. I've seen the movie starring Jessica Lange about her too, which led me to some actual TV appearance she made, after her labotomy.
But interests like that are small in comparison to such figures as Aristotle and Plato, the Stoics, and those kinds of people who influenced generations of strains of thought and disciplines.
You see what i'm doing here, it's aspirations, it's what I don't have, for if I had it, i'd be embodying them, and not projecting my wishes and plans about them.
So the rest of my life is affirmed with gusto in the manner of how I go about things now, it's happening, so I affirm it, and to see it mature somewhat into perhaps some kind of embodying will be a deeper and more satisfying thing than merely getting into them initially was.
I spell out here the modus operandi, so that I can keep it fresh in my head, so as to follow the rules, the rules of getting by without any difficulty, smooth sailing rules.
There is to be no spending on anything besides -- 1) food and groceries, only what I need 2) smokes and 3) gummies or anything from the cannabis shop.
If I watch anything for entertainment it must be absolutely free, there's a fair selection out there, but I must not use any service which puts my PC at risk.
I am thus to be a fiscally responsible person, but also to work gradually on tidying the place up, and be generally more active, careful not to injure myself.
There's 2 major monetary expenses I work towards:
1. An exterminator to wipe out all the rodents and
2. A cremation funeral for myself
But before that I must be working on resolving my 1,550 debt, my bro called it small, when I said oh could it be bigger he strongly advised against it, it's like he teases me into a logical fallacy.
My greatest day to day pleasure is from reading, and from the nice people on SW, and music, but even music is limited, a good symphony, concerto and so on is almost as undoable as films and shows which I dismantled in my previous post.
If I have any room left for films it will be from the good tv here and only with silent films, those are the items I will never sell, unless i'm bedridden in a hospital and need to sell them to pay for anything.
For it is the silent era that endures for me, however I can never anymore buy more of them, all my books, and films that I have now will have to suffice unless they are available for free.
All of this would change if I ever won the lottery or anything like that, but as I do not buy tickets, and I don't think i'm named in any rich person's will my plan here stated will most likely stick.
For new books even if I can get them for free, I must consider the time element, gone shall be the enthusiasm felt when some book is referenced in a footnote and I cheer seeing it for free, I shall only cheer when it's a volume i've always wanted, like that Frances Farmer book she probably didn't write called Will There Ever Be a Morning or something like that, my mom told me about that quite a bit and it's got a legendary status in my mind. I've seen the movie starring Jessica Lange about her too, which led me to some actual TV appearance she made, after her labotomy.
But interests like that are small in comparison to such figures as Aristotle and Plato, the Stoics, and those kinds of people who influenced generations of strains of thought and disciplines.
You see what i'm doing here, it's aspirations, it's what I don't have, for if I had it, i'd be embodying them, and not projecting my wishes and plans about them.
So the rest of my life is affirmed with gusto in the manner of how I go about things now, it's happening, so I affirm it, and to see it mature somewhat into perhaps some kind of embodying will be a deeper and more satisfying thing than merely getting into them initially was.
