I Am In Love With a Fictional Character

If someone has gone through a similar experience to me, I feel your pain and I'm sorry, and I hope we can support each other.

As the title of this group says, I am deeply in love with a fictional character. I won't say who she is for where she's from because I have high anxiety and the mere mention of her name causes me to panic, but I have loved her for over four years. She's so beautiful, inside and out, but don't worry because I know that her inner beauty is much more important.

But feeling like this is so painful. I can't even talk to her and ask her if she had a good day today or what she had for breakfast this morning and yadda yadda yadda. The mere thought of her pains my heart and can bring tears to my eyes. I want to be together with her, be there for her, cuddle and love her, but that will never happen. It hurts so much!

I try to console myself by hoping there is an afterlife and I can be together with her when I die, but I have doubts about that and even if it were true it's likely a long way off for me!

It's very unhealthy, I know, and I'm probably sick in the head, but that doesn't make the feelings any less painful. It's Game Over for me!