Oh my god, this thread is still going on? Well... I have a confession to make.
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I came nextdoor to knock on my neighbor-girl's door. We were good friends and were constantly hanging-out. Except this time, it was different. My small friend (of similar age) came rushing to the door, and told me through the screen "hey [name], I've got a diaper on! I'm a baby again!" I deduced that she must have been wearing her newborn baby sister's diaper, as the young one had just been born, and this is where she got them from. I couldn't help but notice how wildly she was giggling, so irreverent and so hilarious. Her dad started screaming at her, and she gave one final hysterical giggle before fleeing the scene - and I could tell he was REALLY angry by the way he was saying her name - he may have even used a 'curse' word, like "get your ass over here!" Something like that.
Thinking back, the timing must have been immaculate for me to witness that, before the spectacle ended - which it looked like it was just about to.
I didn't know why, and I still don't, but the immediate reaction I had in that moment was NOT fear, or even humor. My initial reaction came in the form of an immediate and RAGING hard-on - probably my first. I just couldn't get over how naughty she was being! And so flagrantly! She didn't have her shirt on, which at that age probably didn't matter that much (though I was admittedly already a fan of boobs), but I KNOW I thought about it for the rest of the day - and fantasized about doing exactly what she did on and off for the rest of my young life.
It wasn't until I was around 15 that I decided to FINALLY take the risk and try it myself. My parents weren't home - well, dad and step-mom. I was living with them at the time, and used to steal my step-mom's Victoria Secret magazines, along with some others that she got. The women were just SO beautiful, there was something very secret and intimate, and yet tasteful about them all; which is why they made the perfect material for what was to come.
I knew I had a couple of hours at least, since they both worked - so I finally decided to go for it. I had a raging loaf leftover from the night before, when we had had some type of red meat (I like mine hard). That seems to help with the 'constipation' factor, which ended-up always being preferable for me. I think part of the arousal is the stimulation of your prostate, especially for men - as others have mentioned. But I wasn't thinking about that at the time. All I was thinking about was about how I was finally gonna do it, and how this was a moment I would never forget.
As I began to undress down to my undies, I started to shake - didn't see that coming. My breathing became heavier - my heart began to palpitate. I ALMOST felt like I was having a panic-attack, but the feeling was pleasurable and exciting - not scary. I finally got down to my undies, sat on the toilet, and couldn't WAIT to experience what I was about to do. I turned to my favorite Victoria's Secret model, and started to push.
Every moment was ecstasy. As aforementioned, the feeling of the prostate stimulation was probably what came first - but that, combined with the feeling of 'forbidden relief,' was what got my rock-hard cock even harder. I really felt like my dick was about to explode. I barely had to touch it, and then I came. If I remember correctly, the semen shot clear to the wall on the other side of the room! And no surprise. I had managed to get a full chunk of the loaf out, and had been rubbing it through my underwear - which it turned out was a really big part of this for me (especially to test for firmness - if it wasn't firm enough, I wouldn't do it).
Over time, this progressed into me experimenting with other forms of interaction with the feces. At first, the BIG deal was to take some of it out of my underwear - at least, when it came in nice hard clumps - and to play with it, unprotected by my layer of underwear. This progressed into licking it (when it didn't taste so rancid), and even shoving some of it into my nose.
I felt sick. I felt like a MADMAN... and I embraced that.
I would snort it up as far as I could, one in my nostril, WHILE wacking-off, and as soon as I was done I would spit it all out and spend an hour brushing my teeth, rinsing my sinuses, washing my hands, and trying to find a place to hide the underwear - which I ALWAYS told myself I would find an opportunity to wash (and often did - BLEACH was key).
I just wanted to share this all with you guys 'cause... I thought I was the only one. Actually, I even went so far as to consider this act EVIL. I felt like Jeffery Dahmer, or some other cannibalistic pervert because he would do some similar things (only with other people's body-parts), and I didn't want to be like that. But what I ALWAYS got out of it was a rush of excitement. I even did it in front of my step-brother, though it was in the dark while we were hanging in the living-room, and because I thought I could get away with it. It was very similar to wanting to jack-off whenever I got the chance, and I don't think the two urges were much different in that instance - less voyeurism, more impulsivity. What can I say - I was a horny teenager.
I've never done it with anyone else, but fantasized about doing so with EVERY girlfriend I've ever had. Since I worried that this was a sickness or a disease, I never brought it to their attention - aside from the embarrassment, I didn't want to "feed the disorder."
I tried to stop many times. Even went a whole year without doing it once. But I ALWAYS break-down at some point, and I think that time is coming soon...
... Thanks for listening.
[Edited for spelling]
