hot wife experienced betrayal from husband

This is a post requesting advice, last year I started hot wifing with my husband of 10 years, everything was going well and the experiences brought us together, we only had a few studs but it was something we both enjoyed, my husband was especially excited and involved and really supported me during this time, I’m shy and very submissive so it was hard to step out of my shell, but I was working on it. With that little bit of back story here is the issue, during this time I found out my husband was having an affair with a mutual friend, I mean an affair that was going on for at least a year, I was gutted because he was lying and hiding vacations, holidays and everything else with this women. I completely lost trust in him and he made me feel like the hot wife experience was tainted, he made me feel like he only wanted the hot wifing so he could justify the affair, I wish that the affair ended when I found out about it but it continued on for another year even though he said it was over and we were working on our marriage. He says that he’s not longer having the affair or seeing her but the last time I caught them together was in May of this year, were suppose to be working on our marriage again but he keeps pushing to start hot wifing again and I just don’t feel the same way about it that I did before, he very instant that it needs to be part of our life but how can I trust him and be vulnerable or how can I regain the initial attraction to hot wifing?