I have been asked: "Why did you get your first tattoo?"

I had wanted a tattoo for about a while, and even had a design picked out, but nothing had kicked in to make me finally get one. Then my best friend died. He was in therapy with me, with an eating disorder. He committed suicide. Within a few days, I went in to get my first one. He had had a half sleeve tattoo something like a Maori pattern, he had added a colour bar to it placed on his inner forearm.

I had always been called 'Queen' by him, so I had that tattooed on my hand, on the back. I thought about getting his name over my heart. It would have been simple, quick to complete…and I cried the whole time. My Mum would cry when she saw it, she sees tattoos as lowlife. Eventually I got the flowers up my left arm, and eventually I got a whole sleeve done on my right arm, intricate, but on my shoulder I had a tearful self-portrait added.

I have struggled at times, with what I had done, but the only way to have any change would involve alot of pain and scarring.