Wish I Had The Relationship My Ex Best Friend Has

My ex best friend has had a girlfriend since high school. At one time I let him move into my one bedroom one bath apartment. I was naturally crossdressing when I wanted to as I please. So I couldn't keep it a secret from him. Luckily he also dressed up as a ballerina. So we dressed up together for fun. Eventually we had to move back in with our parents. Years later I got into an argument with my ex best friend & his wife. He told me his wife is okay with dressing up as a ballerina. She even asked him to dress up in other women's outfits. So i'm jealous that he gets to live the life I want to live.