Fanny Bedworthy - A Gothic Novel Part 2
From the memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Dear uncle had been so right. I found that to dine in nought but a French cami-knicker a perfectly delightful experience. However I did have one concern.
"Sir Jasper," I said.
"Yes Fanny dear."
"I fear I must retire tonight to bed in this cami-knicker, for there is no nightgown among the lingerie of dear Mama's bequest."
"Dear Fanny," replied my uncle as ever solicitous for my welfare, "surely you cannot consider such a thing, for to sleep in a cami-knicker is most injurious to the health."
"Oh Sir Jasper, I did not realise such a thing - whatever am I to do?"
"The solution dear Fanny is simplicity itself. You must sleep tonight in a state of nature."
My uncle as ever had the solution to every problem but I was yet concerned for his reputation.
"But Sir Jasper," said I, "you promised that tonight you would teach me Rumpy-pumpy."
"My dear Fanny," replied my uncle, "know you not that Rumpy-pumpy is at its most pleasurable when in a state of nature. Ask Elspeth," and he turned towards the recumbent form.
"Ooshky bah!" he shouted in her ear.
"Tappy leave," replied the dear old soul, roused from her slumber.
It was settled. I retired to my room to divest myself of my remaining garment.
*****
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Saturday October 26th 1855
Candle in hand I tapped firmly on the door of the gullible Fanny. I opened it and entered.
Fanny lay in the bed as instructed, her cami-knicker discarded upon the floor. I cringed for I cannot abide such untidiness, however there would be time enough to chastise her for such slovenly behaviour later.
She looked at me those bewitching blue eyes wide open.
"Is it time for Rumpy-pumpy," enquired she.
"It is indeed," said I stroking my stiff and supple riding crop, as I call it, with my hand.
"Oh Sir Jasper!" cried she, as she lay beneath the lily white sheets with nothing on at all.
Extract from the memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Rumpy-Pumpy! Dear Uncle had taught me a lesson I would never forget!
I knew now not to be an untidy girl when dressed in nought but my birth-day suit and Uncle had his riding crop about him!
I climbed down from his knee and made my way as instructed towards my half tester.
It was at this point that disaster struck, for the unfortunate Elspeth, afflicted as she was with some strange brain fever which the liberal imbibing of whisky had failed to assuage, rose from her cot in the corner and knocked over the French chandelier. The lighted tallows falling thus upon the crisp sheets of the bed they were soon aflame and Uncle and I were forced to flee the confines of the inn.
It was fortunate for me that the flames were so warming as the town of Cold Stream was well named and I must needs have starved of cold dressed as I was in nought but that which nature intended, were it not for the glowing embers.
Fortunate it was that Elspeth succeeded in rescuing dear Uncle’s possessions. Sadly Mama's knickers, the only remembrance which I had of her, had perished in the flames.
We were to part that day for the Highlands, and I accoutred in nought but dear Uncles Ulster cape to hide my embarrassment!
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Sunday October 27th 1855
Foiled! And by a woman!
The wretched Elspeth has ruined my well laid plan for no repute can now be established within the burned out Inn.
We are now for the Highlands and a new plan must needs be hatched.
We set have off for Kinmuir Castle today coaching to Edinburgh with the intention of taking the Caledonian Railway to Perth, for what indeed is the worth of a Victorian Melodrama set against the labour of several thousand Irishmen.
Kinmuir Castle! Ancient baronial residence of my ancestors! Where once, if fickle rumour were to be believed, the noble James the Third had been murdered (weren't they all!)
Tonight ensconced within the luxury of the North British Hotel I will effect the seduction again and marriage by repute and Fanny’s fortune will be mine!
****
From the Memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Dear Uncle! Having now need of the Ulster cape and fearing that I might be incommoded by the need to travel within the coach unclothed and an object of ridicule to other passengers he insisted that I travel up front alongside the coachman. I had feared that the coachman might object to such arrangements but I need not have feared, for it appeared that he welcomed such.
The weather remained wretched with many squally showers of heavy rain. I thought myself extremely lucky to be unclothed for surely any garments would have been ruined by such an incommodious climate!
As we entered Edinburgh town the coachman indicated that I should stand atop the coach so as to obtain the most satisfactory view of the great buildings of the city.
Surely Edinburgh must be the most friendly city of the country for no sooner did I do so than all the citizens waved and cheered as we passed.
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Monday October 28th 1855
Foiled again! And by the forces of the law! Fanny is interred within the Tolbooth Lockup charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour - to wit cavorting in the streets naked. Thither she was conveyed yestereve by the constables and I spent the night alone in the North British. 'Ties well that I have my riding crop to hand for Rumpy-pumpy will be the order of the day when I bail her release. Still a few nights in clink will do her good for she will for sure get her pinkies tweaked by the inmates of that notorious thieves den.
From the memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Dear Uncle was so kind in his attentions to me for he left me but three days in the Tolbooth before finding the wherewithal to have me released. Those days were not, I may say, the most comfortable of my life, for considered as a common whore by the constables I had been thrown unclothed into the company of fallen women.
These ladies, bereft I dare say of other amusement, delighted in passing the time before their deportation to the colonies by indulging in the pastime of ‘tweaking the pinky’ and the state of nature in which I found myself not unnaturally led to the result that it was my pinkies that were inevitably tweaked. This was however an indulgence which was not always altogether unenjoyable.
Released and clothed now in nought but a simple prison shift I accompanied my Uncle to the North British Hotel where I was taught another lesson at Rumpy-pumpy which was I am sure most fully deserved even if it did provoke complaints of excessive noise from the Bishop of Glasgow who occupied the adjoining room.
There came then a knock upon the door and a runner entered with a message that a visitor awaited dear Uncle in the foyer of the hotel. I accompanied him down. Dear Uncle did not appear to be too pleased to see his new visitor, which was strange as she introduced herself to me as his sister Laetitia.
Laetitia Murgatroyd cut but a strange figure. She was tall - perhaps as much as five foot six inches, of slim figure but possessed of bosoms which nearly matched the dimensions of my own attributes. These were of a milky whiteness, well displayed by her deep décolletage and set off by a necklet of blackest Whitby jet. Her face was pale in contrast to the red gash of her lips and the piercing green of her eyes. Her hair was long and of a blackness that matched the jet upon her breast.
She smiled showing me her perfect set of pearly white teeth. The eye teeth longer than was perhaps fashionable in that era, but striking nonetheless.
"Hi Lettie," I said but she replied with only two words.
"Oh yes!"
Thence we hied it to Haymarket station whence we were to board the Caledonian Railway for the journey to Perth.
The train steamed north amid clouds of dirt and grime. I wiped a clear space in the filth of the glass and peered out. Through the rain soaked mists heather covered hills populated only with sullen black faced sheep fell back on every side towards the horizon.
"Fanny darling," enquired Laetitia, "do you not wish to change out of that prison shift?"
"Indeed I do Aunt Lettie," said I but all my clothes were mislaid by the Heath Row-ites and I have nought else to wear."
"Dearest Fanny," exclaimed Aunt Laetitia, smiling and showing the white of her teeth, "do not think that I would come without bringing a garment for you."
"But Aunt Lettie," said I, "surely it would not be seemly for me to change garments within the compartment of a corridor-less train."
"I'm sure our travelling companions would not mind," replied my aunt.
Besides my aunt and myself there was only my uncle and Elspeth in the carriage. The latter still apparently afflicted with the brain fever was snoring loudly in the corner.
I removed my shift and handed it to my aunt
"Of course dear Aunt Lettie," said I, "for I am sure Uncle Jasper will not object to a sight of my naked form."
Dear Uncle Jasper! He did not make the slightest objection. My kind aunt took the shift and cast it from the window. It was only then did she remember the unfortunate flaw in her suggestion.
"Oh dear," said she my trunk is in the guard's van and this is a corridor-less train. We won't be able to retrieve it until we reach the town of Perth."
"Oh dear Aunt," cried I flushing somewhat at my predicament, "please do not let me be incarcerated in the lockup again, my pinkies are quite red with tweaking already."
"So I see," said she glancing down, and indeed with my amply proportioned bosoms pointing straight at her the condition of my pinkies was only too plain to see.
At Perth we must needs descend from the carriage and walk the length of the plate-form to the guard's van to retrieve Aunt Laetitia's trunk. A foray which provoked much hooting from the highland gentlemen who haunted that area in search of some mean employment. One would think they had never seen a girl's pinkies before!
To be continued…
Dear uncle had been so right. I found that to dine in nought but a French cami-knicker a perfectly delightful experience. However I did have one concern.
"Sir Jasper," I said.
"Yes Fanny dear."
"I fear I must retire tonight to bed in this cami-knicker, for there is no nightgown among the lingerie of dear Mama's bequest."
"Dear Fanny," replied my uncle as ever solicitous for my welfare, "surely you cannot consider such a thing, for to sleep in a cami-knicker is most injurious to the health."
"Oh Sir Jasper, I did not realise such a thing - whatever am I to do?"
"The solution dear Fanny is simplicity itself. You must sleep tonight in a state of nature."
My uncle as ever had the solution to every problem but I was yet concerned for his reputation.
"But Sir Jasper," said I, "you promised that tonight you would teach me Rumpy-pumpy."
"My dear Fanny," replied my uncle, "know you not that Rumpy-pumpy is at its most pleasurable when in a state of nature. Ask Elspeth," and he turned towards the recumbent form.
"Ooshky bah!" he shouted in her ear.
"Tappy leave," replied the dear old soul, roused from her slumber.
It was settled. I retired to my room to divest myself of my remaining garment.
*****
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Saturday October 26th 1855
Candle in hand I tapped firmly on the door of the gullible Fanny. I opened it and entered.
Fanny lay in the bed as instructed, her cami-knicker discarded upon the floor. I cringed for I cannot abide such untidiness, however there would be time enough to chastise her for such slovenly behaviour later.
She looked at me those bewitching blue eyes wide open.
"Is it time for Rumpy-pumpy," enquired she.
"It is indeed," said I stroking my stiff and supple riding crop, as I call it, with my hand.
"Oh Sir Jasper!" cried she, as she lay beneath the lily white sheets with nothing on at all.
Extract from the memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Rumpy-Pumpy! Dear Uncle had taught me a lesson I would never forget!
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
I knew now not to be an untidy girl when dressed in nought but my birth-day suit and Uncle had his riding crop about him!
I climbed down from his knee and made my way as instructed towards my half tester.
It was at this point that disaster struck, for the unfortunate Elspeth, afflicted as she was with some strange brain fever which the liberal imbibing of whisky had failed to assuage, rose from her cot in the corner and knocked over the French chandelier. The lighted tallows falling thus upon the crisp sheets of the bed they were soon aflame and Uncle and I were forced to flee the confines of the inn.
It was fortunate for me that the flames were so warming as the town of Cold Stream was well named and I must needs have starved of cold dressed as I was in nought but that which nature intended, were it not for the glowing embers.
Fortunate it was that Elspeth succeeded in rescuing dear Uncle’s possessions. Sadly Mama's knickers, the only remembrance which I had of her, had perished in the flames.
We were to part that day for the Highlands, and I accoutred in nought but dear Uncles Ulster cape to hide my embarrassment!
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Sunday October 27th 1855
Foiled! And by a woman!
The wretched Elspeth has ruined my well laid plan for no repute can now be established within the burned out Inn.
We are now for the Highlands and a new plan must needs be hatched.
We set have off for Kinmuir Castle today coaching to Edinburgh with the intention of taking the Caledonian Railway to Perth, for what indeed is the worth of a Victorian Melodrama set against the labour of several thousand Irishmen.
Kinmuir Castle! Ancient baronial residence of my ancestors! Where once, if fickle rumour were to be believed, the noble James the Third had been murdered (weren't they all!)
Tonight ensconced within the luxury of the North British Hotel I will effect the seduction again and marriage by repute and Fanny’s fortune will be mine!
****
From the Memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Dear Uncle! Having now need of the Ulster cape and fearing that I might be incommoded by the need to travel within the coach unclothed and an object of ridicule to other passengers he insisted that I travel up front alongside the coachman. I had feared that the coachman might object to such arrangements but I need not have feared, for it appeared that he welcomed such.
The weather remained wretched with many squally showers of heavy rain. I thought myself extremely lucky to be unclothed for surely any garments would have been ruined by such an incommodious climate!
As we entered Edinburgh town the coachman indicated that I should stand atop the coach so as to obtain the most satisfactory view of the great buildings of the city.
Surely Edinburgh must be the most friendly city of the country for no sooner did I do so than all the citizens waved and cheered as we passed.
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
Extract from the journal of Sir Jasper Murgatroyd Bart.
Monday October 28th 1855
Foiled again! And by the forces of the law! Fanny is interred within the Tolbooth Lockup charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour - to wit cavorting in the streets naked. Thither she was conveyed yestereve by the constables and I spent the night alone in the North British. 'Ties well that I have my riding crop to hand for Rumpy-pumpy will be the order of the day when I bail her release. Still a few nights in clink will do her good for she will for sure get her pinkies tweaked by the inmates of that notorious thieves den.
From the memoir of Miss Fanny Bedworthy
Dear Uncle was so kind in his attentions to me for he left me but three days in the Tolbooth before finding the wherewithal to have me released. Those days were not, I may say, the most comfortable of my life, for considered as a common whore by the constables I had been thrown unclothed into the company of fallen women.
These ladies, bereft I dare say of other amusement, delighted in passing the time before their deportation to the colonies by indulging in the pastime of ‘tweaking the pinky’ and the state of nature in which I found myself not unnaturally led to the result that it was my pinkies that were inevitably tweaked. This was however an indulgence which was not always altogether unenjoyable.
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
Released and clothed now in nought but a simple prison shift I accompanied my Uncle to the North British Hotel where I was taught another lesson at Rumpy-pumpy which was I am sure most fully deserved even if it did provoke complaints of excessive noise from the Bishop of Glasgow who occupied the adjoining room.
There came then a knock upon the door and a runner entered with a message that a visitor awaited dear Uncle in the foyer of the hotel. I accompanied him down. Dear Uncle did not appear to be too pleased to see his new visitor, which was strange as she introduced herself to me as his sister Laetitia.
Laetitia Murgatroyd cut but a strange figure. She was tall - perhaps as much as five foot six inches, of slim figure but possessed of bosoms which nearly matched the dimensions of my own attributes. These were of a milky whiteness, well displayed by her deep décolletage and set off by a necklet of blackest Whitby jet. Her face was pale in contrast to the red gash of her lips and the piercing green of her eyes. Her hair was long and of a blackness that matched the jet upon her breast.
She smiled showing me her perfect set of pearly white teeth. The eye teeth longer than was perhaps fashionable in that era, but striking nonetheless.
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
"Hi Lettie," I said but she replied with only two words.
"Oh yes!"
Thence we hied it to Haymarket station whence we were to board the Caledonian Railway for the journey to Perth.
The train steamed north amid clouds of dirt and grime. I wiped a clear space in the filth of the glass and peered out. Through the rain soaked mists heather covered hills populated only with sullen black faced sheep fell back on every side towards the horizon.
"Fanny darling," enquired Laetitia, "do you not wish to change out of that prison shift?"
"Indeed I do Aunt Lettie," said I but all my clothes were mislaid by the Heath Row-ites and I have nought else to wear."
"Dearest Fanny," exclaimed Aunt Laetitia, smiling and showing the white of her teeth, "do not think that I would come without bringing a garment for you."
"But Aunt Lettie," said I, "surely it would not be seemly for me to change garments within the compartment of a corridor-less train."
"I'm sure our travelling companions would not mind," replied my aunt.
Besides my aunt and myself there was only my uncle and Elspeth in the carriage. The latter still apparently afflicted with the brain fever was snoring loudly in the corner.
I removed my shift and handed it to my aunt
"Of course dear Aunt Lettie," said I, "for I am sure Uncle Jasper will not object to a sight of my naked form."
Dear Uncle Jasper! He did not make the slightest objection. My kind aunt took the shift and cast it from the window. It was only then did she remember the unfortunate flaw in her suggestion.
"Oh dear," said she my trunk is in the guard's van and this is a corridor-less train. We won't be able to retrieve it until we reach the town of Perth."
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
"Oh dear Aunt," cried I flushing somewhat at my predicament, "please do not let me be incarcerated in the lockup again, my pinkies are quite red with tweaking already."
"So I see," said she glancing down, and indeed with my amply proportioned bosoms pointing straight at her the condition of my pinkies was only too plain to see.
At Perth we must needs descend from the carriage and walk the length of the plate-form to the guard's van to retrieve Aunt Laetitia's trunk. A foray which provoked much hooting from the highland gentlemen who haunted that area in search of some mean employment. One would think they had never seen a girl's pinkies before!
[image/video - please log in to see this content]
To be continued…
