I Want a Baby

At some point. I have always wanted to be a mother. I remember pretending like my babydolls were real when I was little. I had one and named her Julianna, but for the life of me I can't remember what happened to her. Anyway, both of my sisters are mothers now and although I love their kids as if they were mine it's not really the same as actually having one of your own. I am in no rush, but I am not getting any younger either. My ex (it's complicated) is talking about having kids again , but the thing that gets me is that he is not being smart about it. I'll never forget what he said when I last saw him on my Birthday "This is the year" The year of what I asked him and he just went silent and put his eyes back on the road. It was kind of like a movie scene. He has lost a lot last year. I think the thing that really got him was his Father's passing. It was sudden. Maybe this is one of his ways of trying to bring him back. He would actually be a great dad. I have seen him around kids and he is great with my nephew,but both of us..especially him has a lot to figure out.