This question is probably going to rock the boat just a little depending on individual sensitivity but I will ask it anyway
I just ask to please read through carefully before misunderstanding what I am asking. This is specifically for single mothers who's baby daddy's are not in the picture.
THIS IS NOT FOR THE ONE WHO DID NOT EVEN TRY TO BE AROUND...
That being said, here is the question:
Ever consider that may you or those around you (parents etc) may have pushed him away?
Let me explain...
I know a friend who fell pregnant in high school. Now of course her parents were absolutely furious.. her dad beat the guy up and then some... but the guy did not deny the kid was his and made attempts to be in his child's life.
He bought things, visited regularly, tried taking the kid out.. basically he really TRIED to be around... but every time he came around, this friend of mine would either pick a fight with him and her parents would place heavy restrictions on how and when he is allowed to see the child and this went on for more than a year.
He had no part in the deciding of the name of the kid and my friend's father named him after himself.. yes his very own name with "Junior" attached at the end. Things escalated to a point where he was not allowed to take the kid out on weekends anymore... but he was really not a negligent dad in any way.
Eventually he just stopped showing up... and when this happened, my friend and her parents gave him a terribly hard time about it all.
I once asked her "did you ever consider that maybe you guys actually pushed him away?" which of course angered her.
So my question is... was there any chance that maybe you are someone close to you may have chased him away with unreasonable restrictions or always picking fights?
Where do we draw the line with placing our own emotions aside and consider that the KID may need the father to be around and not constantly pick a fight with him when he comes to visit?
THIS IS NOT FOR THE ONE WHO DID NOT EVEN TRY TO BE AROUND...
That being said, here is the question:
Ever consider that may you or those around you (parents etc) may have pushed him away?
Let me explain...
I know a friend who fell pregnant in high school. Now of course her parents were absolutely furious.. her dad beat the guy up and then some... but the guy did not deny the kid was his and made attempts to be in his child's life.
He bought things, visited regularly, tried taking the kid out.. basically he really TRIED to be around... but every time he came around, this friend of mine would either pick a fight with him and her parents would place heavy restrictions on how and when he is allowed to see the child and this went on for more than a year.
He had no part in the deciding of the name of the kid and my friend's father named him after himself.. yes his very own name with "Junior" attached at the end. Things escalated to a point where he was not allowed to take the kid out on weekends anymore... but he was really not a negligent dad in any way.
Eventually he just stopped showing up... and when this happened, my friend and her parents gave him a terribly hard time about it all.
I once asked her "did you ever consider that maybe you guys actually pushed him away?" which of course angered her.
So my question is... was there any chance that maybe you are someone close to you may have chased him away with unreasonable restrictions or always picking fights?
Where do we draw the line with placing our own emotions aside and consider that the KID may need the father to be around and not constantly pick a fight with him when he comes to visit?
