Parents what tactics do you use to help a young teen not resent attending church?

@Underconstruction: Well excuse me for wanting my daughter to participate in a family activity. She is a part of the family. When she's grown she's free to do as she pleases

@Kathryn05: [b]A family activity is a picnic, a dinner with friends, watching a movie, discussing a book.

You are imposing your religious views on someone who is finding out there must be something else out there that is more interesting.

You can´t pour religion down her throat and pretend that is a family activity. That´s brainwashing. Just let her be.

What if she thinks different from you ?

Why does that intimidate you so ?[/b]

@Underconstruction: She can be respectful about the families views even if she has her own. You don't see people not attending a religious wedding or baptism!

@Kathryn05: [b]With religion it should not be your way or the highway. It is a personal choice , not a mandatory thing.

You are the one being stubborn. You are refusing to accept her views.

Is that how your religion works ?[/b]

[b]And yes, I have seen people NOT attending religious ceremonies and you know what, the world didn´t end for those people.[/b]

@Underconstruction: I'm just saying you can respectfully not agree with something but still abide by the decision of the whole family. She'll have plenty of time as a adult to make her own choices.

@Kathryn05: [b]How is she going to be able to make her own choices, when you have intimidated her with yours during her formative years ?

If you talk about respect, it would be great if you show some towards her.

Don´t force her, respect her views, maybe if you let her breath, she will decide to join you later on , or maybe not, but that doesn´t have to be a life or death situation. She will always be your daughter but she doesn´t have to think like you. And that´s a good thing.[/b]

@Underconstruction: You're right she doesn't have to think like me but she does have to respect my beliefs and the beliefs of this family. That means we attend church as a family. If she doesn't truly believe deep down in her heart what she hears then reluctantly I'm okay with that but I'm not with her not going.

@Kathryn05: [b]How much respect are YOU showing towards HER views ?

The fact that she is a minor doesn´t diminish her rights to choose what fits with her in the spirituality department.

Stop forcing her, what a horrible thing it must be for her to go thru such a battle every Sunday.

Stop using the excuse that all her friends are at church. If they truly are her friends she can play with them elsewhere.

I get the feeling that behind the words "family activity" and "friends" what you are really trying to do is force fed her a religion she doesn´t agree with and if you truly look at that from another perspective , that´s tantamount to child abuse.

[/b]

@Underconstruction: No honestly I want her to believe what I and her father do and her siblings as well but I know I can't force her to think any one way. Rather I just want there with her family it's a small thing I ask of her for all the things I do for her.

@Kathryn05: [b]It´s not a small thing. And now you say you are trying to make her feel guilty for the things you do as a parent, which by the way is YOUR obligation ? You really sound like a terrible mother Kathryn, I don´t know you but the things you say sound like hardcore brainwashing. Maybe you were a victim of that yourself. All in all a pretty sad situation.

Making her feel guilt for all the things you do for her in order to shame her for not going to church is just plain WRONG.[/b]

@Kathryn05 [quote]When she's grown she's free to do as she pleases[/quote]
If she has any sense, that will include cutting you out of her life.