just a small lil rant, ignore unless you’re interested lol

visit with ryan went alright. he was sooo happy to see her, and she was just as happy to see him. seeing that much joy on both of their faces honestly made me feel shitty and guilty for keeping them apart. 😭

but at the same time, i just don’t feel comfortable being away from my baby for that long yet. especially not with him when he’s been so violent recently and loves to drink.
when i was living with him and would go to work, a lot of the time my mom or sister would watch her for us because he just… didn’t want to. the game was more important. 🙄 i always felt so much better knowing they were just a phone call away if she started being “too much” for him and he needed help. which, like… he’s 35. at some point, grow the hell up??? take care of your responsibilities?? c’mon lol.

i know she loves her dad, and i would never want to take that relationship away from her. i just want to feel safe and comfortable with the situation before i’m okay being away from her for long periods of time. i’m allowed to need that time, even if it makes me feel guilty sometimes. ❤

ugh, anyways, other than that i’ve had a great weekend 🫶🏼