I Don’t Want My Son to Ever Feel Like He Has to Escape Me

Growing up in a really strict household meant a lot of rules, consequences, and discipline. As a kid and teenager, I was sneaky… and in my late teens and early 20s I definitely partied tf up. I guess you could say I was rebellious, but really I think I was just trying to feel free in the only way I knew how at the time.

I always knew my mom loved me, even when we didn’t always see eye to eye. I knew she had my back, even if it didn’t always feel gentle in the moment. And now, as a 36-year-old woman, she’s not just my mom… she’s my best friend. She actually lives with me now and helps me take care of my son. She’s basically live-in childcare for us, and I know how blessed we are to have that kind of support every day.

It’s funny looking back though… because I used to count down the days until I turned 18. I couldn’t wait to get out of my mom’s house. I just wanted freedom, space, my own life… to do things my way.

But now I see things so differently.

Because of how I grew up, it made me really think about what I want for my own child. I don’t want my son to feel like he has to escape me. I don’t want him to be counting down the days until he can get away. I want him to feel safe with me. I want him to know he can come to me about anything, that I’ll always have his back no matter what.

That doesn’t mean no rules or structure because I believe in raising him right and I won’t let him run all over me. He will be corrected when he needs to be, and he’ll learn respect and responsibility. But I want that balance… love, discipline, and trust all in the same space.

At the end of the day, my biggest hope is simple: I want to raise a boy who loves his momma, who feels safe with me, and who never feels like he has to run from me.