jehova · 36-40, M
I think you are justified in your pespective. She needs to allow you to raise YOUR child. As you noted she can have custody (involvement) on weekends your son benefits from structure. Also if she does things he finds uncomfortable even when he tells her not to. That instills and may encourage bad behavioral patterns. I suggest making that very clear.
Fallflower · 46-50, F
I think your feelings are valid. It's hard enough being a new mom: being undermined, even by your own mother, can be infuriating, especially in the wee hours when you're trying to establish a routine. I remember being quite over protective with my first, they thought I was crazy. Maybe I was! Too bad for them!
Hey. You have this overwhelming responsibility and you're entitled to do it your way.
Hey. You have this overwhelming responsibility and you're entitled to do it your way.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
Levenrack · 46-50, M
Ohhhh yeah, had one of those before.
Ex-Mother-in-Law. (why did I feel like my heart just stopped suddenly and I got really dizzy, when I mentioned her?)
Anywho, you've got choices of what can do. On one hand, you telling her what and how it's gonna be. It being your mother, you got zero to no chance, of convincing her otherwise.
Or in the other, you play it smart and don't bring it up. Cause you know what always comes next, from telling her to sod off. You'll come to consciousness, knowing all to well what had occurred (oh maybe that's my mother, I'm thinking of).
Ex-Mother-in-Law. (why did I feel like my heart just stopped suddenly and I got really dizzy, when I mentioned her?)
Anywho, you've got choices of what can do. On one hand, you telling her what and how it's gonna be. It being your mother, you got zero to no chance, of convincing her otherwise.
Or in the other, you play it smart and don't bring it up. Cause you know what always comes next, from telling her to sod off. You'll come to consciousness, knowing all to well what had occurred (oh maybe that's my mother, I'm thinking of).
DarthInvader · 36-40, M
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@DarthInvader unfortunately that method do as you want doesn't really work for me. I had him on a hard schedule after birth and he learned very quickly that he needed to sleep in the cot. So much so he was sleeping through the night by month 2 from 10 until 7am.
My intentions as a parent is to set boundaries from the offset, that way I don't make a rod for my own back later on.
Yes he needs his mum and no I'm not cold I give him comfort especially now he's teething.
But when disruptive grandma comes in talking loudly and blowing on his tummy it's sending the opposite message, and that doesn't encourage him to sleep it actually makes him cry and scream more.
My intentions as a parent is to set boundaries from the offset, that way I don't make a rod for my own back later on.
Yes he needs his mum and no I'm not cold I give him comfort especially now he's teething.
But when disruptive grandma comes in talking loudly and blowing on his tummy it's sending the opposite message, and that doesn't encourage him to sleep it actually makes him cry and scream more.
bijouxbroussard · F
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard unfortunately, our relationship is incredibly strained as is.
She says she should do more but complains when she does. Isn't the most confident when doing anything so moves around with nervous energy which at times is incredibly painful to watch.
No matter how many times you tell her something you have to remind her, then when you do she gets annoyed because she forgot.
She then says that I have a tone, which I probably do because well it gets boring being a parrot only to have your head bitten off.
This is why I couldn't wait to move out alongside a lot of other things.
Being around her is just infuriating.
What I hate most is how hypercritical she is of others whilst not acknowledging or Blaise about her own.
She says she should do more but complains when she does. Isn't the most confident when doing anything so moves around with nervous energy which at times is incredibly painful to watch.
No matter how many times you tell her something you have to remind her, then when you do she gets annoyed because she forgot.
She then says that I have a tone, which I probably do because well it gets boring being a parrot only to have your head bitten off.
This is why I couldn't wait to move out alongside a lot of other things.
Being around her is just infuriating.
What I hate most is how hypercritical she is of others whilst not acknowledging or Blaise about her own.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Notsimilarreally I feel at a loss here.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@Mellowgirl have you been clear with her about your schedule and planning?
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Notsimilarreally I have. I like most things she's more interested in doing the things she wants to do instead of helping me with the things I have asked.
I haven't once asked her to step in with my son. I asked her to help me to walk the dog in the evening. That's not me trying to stop her having any involvement but she knows I'm having hip pain and being able to just rest in the evening is better.
I leave very few bottles in the evening for her to help with. Tbh there isn't very much just my son.
She will complain that she doesn't want to stay late and won't eat food that I cook which is fine. But if she stays helping with my son she's here until after 10pm. Which also inhibits my ability to sleep because he just wants his mum for comfort.
It's her ego getting in the way
I haven't once asked her to step in with my son. I asked her to help me to walk the dog in the evening. That's not me trying to stop her having any involvement but she knows I'm having hip pain and being able to just rest in the evening is better.
I leave very few bottles in the evening for her to help with. Tbh there isn't very much just my son.
She will complain that she doesn't want to stay late and won't eat food that I cook which is fine. But if she stays helping with my son she's here until after 10pm. Which also inhibits my ability to sleep because he just wants his mum for comfort.
It's her ego getting in the way
JackDaniels · 46-50, M
MicrowaveDinner · M
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@MicrowaveDinner fair enough