i didnt know how hard raising a non verbal child was

Oh honey.....that must be flipping soul killing to be srretched that tight for that long.

You do need some sort of break, just a few hours now and then to recharge, calm down .... prolly SLEEP is high on your list.

I don't know the age of your child, but i do know when they are non verbal, it takes the stress level up on both sides, and the lack of communication wrecks you, and causes them to get frustrated amd have meltdowns.

I dont know if itll help , but look into "Proloquo2Go" (there may be other online programms like it now). - its a program that uses images with words, (PECS {Picture Exchange Communication System }cards), to help non verbal people communicate.

I used the hard copy version with my son years ago, (it was a folder stuffed full of pecs (cards that he could eventually formulate short sentences with).
Then it moved to tablet form with sound and everything.
I think there may even be apps for it now.
" Pecs Talk" is one - although i never used it (i just looked them up now).

When they cant speak - its so hard for them, (and you). It kills you inside. You have a child that you feel you cant know properly and it tears at your heart.
It drives up their frustration and stress and is a huge feeder for difficult behavior.

Im totally stunned that no one has offered you help or guidance to places that can help your child work towards communicating in some way .

Coz by the sounds of it - you need it.

And the sooner you start, the better for ypu both.

I know aftery child finally had a commication system - so many parts of their behavior got better. Better sleep, less tantrums and meltdowns and the screaming stopped.
Apps;

Physical format (still often used for visual task lists and learning)

Techy format

They are so good. You can even use them to communicate back, (coz sometimes words are hard to process and pictures are easier).

They are good for letting them know what they are going to do that day, or what's for dinner etc. it also helps them learn to read.
(Which is great, as not all nonverbals will end up speaking - but they CAN learn to text which is BRILLIANT).

Is it possible to see a doctor or a nurse or someone to refer you to someone who can assist you in helping your child?
There has to be some sort of program or service or funded child development specialist clinics or something that you should be being told about to access.

Having a child with special needs is too much for one parent to cope with on their own

You'll burn out.

Having a kid is tough especially alone.. especially if they are special needs.. you need a break to just breathe.. 🙁 do you not have anyone that can help you or are there any programs for kids in your area you can go to to catch a break? *hugs*

I feel hypocritical enough to say this. But if you have options like family and friends, maybe it's time to ask for help.

A mothers life