Don't beat the sht out of your kids

I remember when I was a kid my parents used to hit me alot and I don't think I thought there was anything wrong with it even up till I was in my 30s. I just thought that this is how to correct bad behavior. Only recently I have recognized that I needed to unravel some of this baked in behavior they put into me, mostly because I have had to think about why I myself think so often about violence.

It was kind of something I had always known. They would hit me for getting Bs in elementary school even. It was just ridiculous.

So every 6 weeks I just accepted that my dad was probably going to beat the sht out of me. Because every 6 weeks the report cards came out. I had so much anxiety about that. I remember even a few times I just threw my report card in a drainage vent. I even many times didn't want to go home. Once I ran out to the woods and stayed there till I got intolerably hungry.

I remember very clearly this often repeated situation where I was standing in front of my dad and he was hitting me if I answered whatever question he had for me incorrectly. I felt almost frozen in place.

I think my parents stopped hitting me when I was around 15 or so and I think mostly because my dad was beginning to recognize that I could kick his ass. Even a few times I had threatened to kill my parents. I think this really unsettled them.

Eventually I turned 18 and moved out pretty much immediately because WTF.

I haven't seen them again since I was about 23 years old and only because I guess they had hired a private investigator to meet up with me after I went no contact.

That was an awkward meeting but whatever.

Ever since I just don't talk to them. They tell me that I had a great childhood lol.