Did your parents argue a lot while you were growing up?
They argued heaps. There were a few times I found myself in the middle of it screaming at the top of my little lungs telling them to stop it or I'd just scream as loud as I could. I was often just told to shut up sit down because this doesn't involve me or was pushed aside.
I was always shocked and weirded out by actual happy families. I'm still shocked and weirded out by them. Anyone who has a family they are close with and can all be open and honest with one another and who spends time together on the regular without screaming and shouting you have my admiration and I am jealous of you. I always wanted something like you'd see on tv. I used to walk around town and would see into people's homes and they'd be laughing or eating together or I'd see parents playing outside with their kids and I'd hate them for it. I'd hate them because I wanted that for myself. I didn't hate them because I truly hated and despised them. That hatred stemmed from longing and wanting.
I was always shocked and weirded out by actual happy families. I'm still shocked and weirded out by them. Anyone who has a family they are close with and can all be open and honest with one another and who spends time together on the regular without screaming and shouting you have my admiration and I am jealous of you. I always wanted something like you'd see on tv. I used to walk around town and would see into people's homes and they'd be laughing or eating together or I'd see parents playing outside with their kids and I'd hate them for it. I'd hate them because I wanted that for myself. I didn't hate them because I truly hated and despised them. That hatred stemmed from longing and wanting.
26-30, M
