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What's the difference between being a strict parent, and an abusive parent?

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The difference is attentiveness. A strict parent bases their standards on the rules they perceive. Disciplining in the way they see as strict. To be strict, is to have control.

An abusive parent is one who inflicts their anger on to others from their own rage. Abuse is to inflict power and control by being domineering to the one who they inflict direct abuse on! Abuse is anger.
An abusive parent is a toxic parent, just for some, a broken parent. For others a work in progress.