Do you think people deserve kids?

@Adaydreambeliever A tired mum can't be considered as negligence. I personally know how that is because my mom was the one who raised us.

But what I mean to say, some people are negligent and they really don't care about their kids. I've seen people who smoke in front of their kids or some who reproduce for the pleasure and dispose babies or abandon them away on the streets or in orphanages. Those people don't deserve kids.

@Beatbox34 ok.. so I am in a challenging/devil's advocate mood today... so.. reproducing for pleasure.. I can assure you it's anything but a pleasure, giving birth, is hell... raising young kids is impossibly tiring, worrying and difficult..

Often those who abandon them do so because they didn't have the ability to prevent pregnancy... often very poor people..

Smoking around kids.. I am a non-smoker.. but, we do have to remember that in the past many parents thought it was perfectly ok to smoke around kids.. in most cases it never did them any harm.. I am not saying it's good but it's perhaps not as terrible as you think.. most kids survive pretty well..

My mum chain smoked non stop.. all her life.. that wasn't what killed her but if she weren't allowed kids then I wouldn't be here, nor would a lot of people..

I guess a big thing I'd say here.. and I am sure you think I am just being difficult, and maybe I am lol, is that generally, it's those who don't have kids who make the most assumptions and criticisms..

@Adaydreambeliever I never said giving birth is an easy task. All I said was if people want the pleasure then don't give birth to children if you can't raise them.

You're right. If the person is poor then why do the mistake in the first place. The child doesn't deserve to be abandoned. I have read reports on the newspapers where a new born child would be left on the street. On the other hand there are people who want kids but can't have them. I understand the concept that pregnancies couldn't be prevent if a person was sexually assaulted. That's completely understandable. But I feel people should own up and take actions for their responsibilities.

My dad used to smoke a lot around us. I agree with you back in the day it was all fine. I say this because back in the day, things were different. The food back then backed your immunity. I doubt that that the same can be said today. I'll leave the smoking part. It's not responsible for the parent's own health at all. My dad died because of smoking.

I am not judging you at all. You may be a good mother. But what I want to say is procreation shouldn't be taken as a joke. People should take responsibility for the life they've created. I understand everything does not go as planned but the least a parent can do is be affectionate and not be lethargic around the kid. I know how hard it is to raise a kid single handedly. I may not be a parent but I've seen the struggles my mom has been through. I have seen how sick she got making selfless sacrifices for us. It was hard for her yet she never gave up. Had my father been a better man then the story might have been different.

@Beatbox34 I wasn't and am not having a go at you.. just throwing things out there to help us both *think* outside the box here..

Poor people often don't have the same choices we do.. and poor people may also be those who sell daughters, encourage them to prostitute, who aren't well educated, etc etc etc.. we just have to be so careful of judging wht we don't know.. poor people don't have the same luxury of choice we do.. The kinds of places where kids are abandoned on streets tend to be the kinds of places where women are raped, taken advantage, are poorly educated, and the act of abandoning a child/baby is an act of complete desperation which neither you nor I are capable or judging.. of.. etc.. etc..

As a parent myself .. I am endlessly humbled by the experience.. when I gave birth I *thought* I knew it all.. I thought kids sat quietly while you read them stories and sat there colouring quietly.. The thing is.. we can THINK we know we can raise them.. but honestly we can't EVER know.. things change, people change.. and we are one species that spends the longest time actually raising kids.. we can think we know something when they are one but find we didn't know diddly and things change by the time they are 14..

LOl I wasn't thinking you were judging me as a parent.. I wouldn't have imagined you would even think you could so rest assured on that one :P I am way better than some.. less good than others.. I am not perfect.. NO parent is..

I really do think.. that no one who doesn't have kids can judge on this.. I really don't.. and even then I don't think we can judge others because we just don't know their circumstances.. Here's a thing. it's actually proven that poorer people are more empathic than richer and that their families tend to have tighter bonds .. so.. those very people we might condemn might be doing a way better job than we think and maybe we don't know enough about what really works and what doesn't... a child who has every advantage will not necessarily have a happy childhood or turn out better.. it's just not that simple

@Adaydreambeliever I agree when it comes to people who are poor. I didn't mention that. I did mention in my previous point that I cannot say the same for people who have been abused.

Take this example, there are two teenagers who have sex and give birth to a child. Now none of them are capable of raising a child so they send it to a foster family or to an orphanage. This is disgusting. In the country I reside, there are people who do this and they're not poor. This is why I said that. I agree with you that some people do it due to desperate measures.

I'm not a parent and I can't talk about that. But from the looks of what I've seen. Parenting is hard and nobody will find all the answers everywhere.

I do agree with you that people who come from poorer families have tighter bonds than the rich counterpart. I agree with you on the last point.

I just want to finish my point at this. I agree with all that you said but what I want to add is this. As you stated that not every parent is perfect, it's the same for a kid that not every kid is perfect. But being a parent, the parent should at least try their level best to mould the child and not give up on them. That is what I want to tell.