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Starcrossed · 41-45, F
I am against punishment as a parenting tactic. That does not mean I'm permissive or that my child walks all over me.
We established clear and firm boundaries and laid out fair and logical consequences to crossing them when she was a toddler. Because of this she grew up knowint she could trust our guidance and respects our boundaries [so we don't reach a point where most people would implement a punishment].
Now that she is a young grade schooler, when boundaries are crossed - we work with her and hell her to plan out how she'll make something right. I don't force her to offer apologies to anyone. Ever. I want her apologies to be intrinsicly motivated and given when she feels remorseful. I may offer on her behalf if she's seeming embarrassed or confused.
I believe us caregivers modeling who we want her go be vs telling her what to do/how to be/how to feel is the best way to help her get there.
We established clear and firm boundaries and laid out fair and logical consequences to crossing them when she was a toddler. Because of this she grew up knowint she could trust our guidance and respects our boundaries [so we don't reach a point where most people would implement a punishment].
Now that she is a young grade schooler, when boundaries are crossed - we work with her and hell her to plan out how she'll make something right. I don't force her to offer apologies to anyone. Ever. I want her apologies to be intrinsicly motivated and given when she feels remorseful. I may offer on her behalf if she's seeming embarrassed or confused.
I believe us caregivers modeling who we want her go be vs telling her what to do/how to be/how to feel is the best way to help her get there.