Favouring one sibling over the other and my resent towards my in laws

My partner and I are together for 3 years. We moving in together very soon but nobody in his family is really happy about it. There is no talk about it nd his mother told me straight up im not happy about it at all. At first i got hurt by it but now it makes me very mad because she was never really there for my partner. She never showed any love or affection when he was growing up nor support a thing that he did. All she ever did was put him down.

Now hes in a relationship nd hes happy and she still has a problem. My partner sister nd him live together and his sister always causes trouble for him. If he does one thing or say anything to her she will call her mother up to complain nd his mum will call him and tell him to leave her alone yet when she does anything his mother says nothing.

This saturday like every other saturday his sister comes to his room to clean. She bangs his room door open,throws everything of his cabinet and cleans making a huge fuss. His mum was there witnessed it and said nothing. Its like they intentionally torturing. By the way he cant lock his room door because his sister will make a fuss nd call the mother.

Do i really want to be in this family after dealing with my dysfunctional family😤I really somedays want to end it all

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Serenitree · F

Best bet would be to move a couple of hours away. And don't answer when they call. If he chooses to accept their calls, then he can deal with it. But you don't need to have anything to do with them until they send you a note welcoming you into the family. So.....probably never, unless you have a child. Grandparents are crazy that way. They can hate the mom and the dad, but they demand their right to know the baby. Just be sure they treat you both with respect before allowing it.

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@Serenitree I agree but why do u think they do that😢Its so hurtful but bf did everuthing for them and they never appreciated it at all. His sister does that time and time again and gea away with it. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and i thought now with his family I cud have a nice family life but they so bitter. His mother is horrible to my partner.

We are moving out and we not looking back

Serenitree · F

@Clairessa09 I don't know why people do the things they do. It really doesn't matter why, it just matters that you don't allow them to ruin your happy life together. Their life is already miserable. You can't fix that, but you can prevent them from making yours as bad as theirs.

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@Serenitree Yes u right they are miserable. His mum is all about money yet its proof money cant bring u happiness. They insult me because inhave a small business and they think i shud have a fulltime job. I took a chance after i finished my degree and went fulltime into my business and its been going so well. They want to tell us how to live.

What should i do to avoid all of this? Should i ignore them? They have made us very miserable and my partner and i argue because of them and we never did before . Any advice plz. I dont wnat to start my life with this

Serenitree · F

@Clairessa09 If you look back at my first response, you will see, I said don't talk to them at all. If their son feels the need to do so, then that's his decision. Be supportive, If they upset or anger him, if he says nasty things about them, don't agree or disagree.

Either one will make him angry. If you agree that they are horrible, you're judging his family. If you disagree, you're judging him. You're best to just listen and make tea or coffee and offer it and sit with him while he complains. Say little. Just be with him. He really doesn't need your thoughts on the matter. He already knows how you feel, and what you think. What he needs from you is just someone he can vent to without it escalating into an argument. If it becomes a fight between you, they win. They've made you as miserable as they are.

Let him know you love him. Let him feel supported without him thinking you're taking sides. Of course you are. You're on his side, but you don't need to keep saying it. Just hug him. Sit with him. Hold his hand. Tell him you love him. Give him what his family never gave. Understanding and support, without pressure. If he knows that you will continue to love him even when he makes mistakes or bad decisions, he will be happy. If he's happy, he will make you happy. Then you win. His family hasn't ruined your love, and life.

Clairessa09 · 31-35

@Serenitree Thank u. I will do that

Serenitree · F

@Clairessa09 Good luck, young lady. Be happy in your love and life.