Adult Siblings Fighting

I am the youngest of 3, I am almost 30. My older brother and sister are not talking to each other due to a fight that involved things that should not have been said, disrespectful. I know my mom is really upset about what is going on, and I am too. I will not tolerate my siblings not talking and not being civil with each other especially when it means my parents have to pick who they visit. Both of my siblings have kids, so my parents want to see all of their grandkids. I want to confront my siblings, but I am unsure how to go about it. I am done being the "soundboard" for everyone elses issues with each other. Plus I will be getting married and having kids within the next 1-2years and I will have all of my family there having fun not fighting.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Ah, siblings. It can be the best or the worst. I used to watch my stepchildren fight, doing and saying terrible things to each other, and wonder how on earth they could reconcile after all that, but they always seemed to, eventually.

if two adults want to fight, there's nothing you can do, EXCEPT listen. You and your parents can't side with either of them because it's all too likely the one 'picked' as right will report that to the other. "Mom and Dad and Sis think you should apologize." Then the other is fighting with everybody.

You can validate their feelings but be careful not to agree with their positionin the argument. "I can see why you felt angry over that." But don't say, "No wonder you're mad! That was a lousy thing to say to you."

If your siblings are agreeable and it's geographically possible, invite the grandkids to family gatherings. "You know you are always welcomed and wanted here, but if you think you should stay away, could you drop the kids off? Or somebody can pick them up and bring them back."

Nobody talks to the kids about the fight.

lilteacup

You will not tolerate your siblings not talking?

This has nothing to do with you.

kittycatboy · 18-21, M

Grow up and stop fighting

Strawberry9999 · 31-35, F

I’m sorry, that sucks

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