Right; is it normal for my inlaws not to invite me to my husbands mums i.e. My mother in laws stupid fuking hen do!?!?!!

Hey they did not invite you well you should be thanking them not complaining that you did not get invited to their stupid party. Yiyu married your husband you did not marry his family. Yea it would be great if everyone got along but this is not the Walton show so maybe just for your husband and not to stir thing up be nice and hold your breath and when you get home put a few more pines in the voodoo dolls.lol