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how would you handle?

My wife and I live in a condo. Out neighbor's have two children, boys, a 7 and 2y.o. we have fraternal twin boys, 6. My boys love to play with the neighbor's oldest. However one of my sons has ADHD and gets highly agitated when the neighbor's soon decides he doesn't want to play with him or doesn't want to play a particular game. My other bit is much more easy going but is slighter than the neighbor's son. The neighbor's soon had knocked him to the ground a couple of times and lied about it. M growing tired of having to calm my son's down after this kid does something either of them. the boys father is not in the picture but the mothers fiance is. Unfortunately he had no control over the boy.
CoxswainOtter · 36-40, M
I think you need to explain to your son the cause and effect of his choice to play with the neighbors kid and see if he can come up with solutions on his own that you can work through with him... a wonderful learning g opportunity
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
[@466386,ArtVandelay] I'm trying to talk with him about how this other not is and to move in to playing with his own brother or going out to play on his own. My other son isn't going to take getting pushed down got long until he gets iterated to push back.
CoxswainOtter · 36-40, M
I think who he plays with is his choice... but that he should be clear on the consequences of his choices and have ideas on how to deal with those consequences
Master1A · 61-69, M
Know it is hard, but your boys need to be protected from the bullies abuse. and that is exactly what it is. No father for him, moms boyfriend has no standing and no control. the boy thinks he is the man of the house and his mother needs to get that under control , but as you say she sounds like a waste. So protect your boys. Master1A
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
[@2530,Master1A] always, now the bf is gone. We are looking for a new place. Already have an offer on our place
Elysian · F
Just talk to the boys..all of them... Let them know its okay to express how they feel but not to mistreat each other. Let them tell you how they feel and validate that. They'll be way more open to listening if they feel you understand them.
black4white · 51-55, M
Explain to your kids about how to know they have the option to NOT play with kids they dont like or are not being nice. The parents need to stay out of it as much as possible and give some direction as neither kid is in any "danger"...If your kid chooses to play with them you point out that the good and the bad of the decision and let it be..they are only 6 :-) Good luck and its all about playing in the sandbox properly. LOL good luck
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
[@5201,black4white] I agree and we've had this discuss. They have some social issues which is extending the understanding of sandbox politics. Lol
black4white · 51-55, M
[@1659,biandlargeny] totally understood but you just keep discussing simply because these are VALUABLE life lessons that can only be taught by life experiences :-) lol good luck
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
Thank you
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
ur just gonna have to talk to the parents about it - can't see another way
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
[@350760,BondGirl84] unfortunately the mother is a bit of a cluster fuck herself. Had her grandmother parents living with her and her two boys. They finance lived with them during the summer when the grandparents went back to Europe for two months. She was raised by her grandmother who is very old school and old world thinking and had imparted that to her daughter very stubborn.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
[@1659,biandlargeny] maybe that's why her son is a cluster fuck! Just try & keep ur kids away from them then, some people there's no point in talking to them - thought it wud be as simple as just saying something politely!
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
We've tried a bit. I am thinking keeping them apart would be best too. Unfortunately they live next door
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
It's so hard getting in the middle of children's issues.
1stexhub · 56-60, M
Just tell them they cant play together anymore kids hate that
SusanInFlorida · 26-30, F
adjust your ADHD son's medication. the problem is not your neighbor's son.
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
[@466426,SusanInFlorida] thank you but other than interacting with this boy he has really excellent at this dosage. At home and at school
black4white · 51-55, M
[@1659,biandlargeny] Also if you are adjusting meds...use LESS not more :-) make the goal of NOT using it the plan but i truly dont know the situation or am i a doctor...
Bimyself · 61-69, M
I would teach my son to protect himself! If he has to kick that kid in the nuts and drop him to the ground so be it!
biandlargeny · 51-55, M
Thank you all for your input

 
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