Best way to 'handle' what would appear to be a belligerent 11 year old girl?
I'm sort of asking for insider experience here...
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CLEAR Communication. Including but not limited to these:
Respect of her.
Respect of Self. Never lose RESPECT element, please.
Communication of
your rules/Boundaries.
Reasonable and age appropriate Consequences.
Consistency.
Kindness.
Therefore : Trust will be earned by both of you.
Repeat.
No violence ever. That will demonstrate some things: 1- You are a bully and difficult situations CAN and ought to be dealt with pain, intimidation and fear. 2-Also that you are NOT a safe person you can never be trusted. She will maybe turn to some *bad* influences.
So, thereby THAT will crate one of two kinds of humans: 1- A bully who in fact also has low self esteem.
2- A child with low /no self esteem who will potentially have issues due to the physical abuse. A victim.
And it IS abuse.
Any Neanderthal who things that there is a place for PHYSICAL ABUSE OF KIDS perhaps needs to be monitored carefully: How human is this human being?
But I feel there is no middle ground in my mind because to condone this is inhuman.
PERIOD.
Respect of her.
Respect of Self. Never lose RESPECT element, please.
Communication of
your rules/Boundaries.
Reasonable and age appropriate Consequences.
Consistency.
Kindness.
Therefore : Trust will be earned by both of you.
Repeat.
No violence ever. That will demonstrate some things: 1- You are a bully and difficult situations CAN and ought to be dealt with pain, intimidation and fear. 2-Also that you are NOT a safe person you can never be trusted. She will maybe turn to some *bad* influences.
So, thereby THAT will crate one of two kinds of humans: 1- A bully who in fact also has low self esteem.
2- A child with low /no self esteem who will potentially have issues due to the physical abuse. A victim.
And it IS abuse.
Any Neanderthal who things that there is a place for PHYSICAL ABUSE OF KIDS perhaps needs to be monitored carefully: How human is this human being?
But I feel there is no middle ground in my mind because to condone this is inhuman.
PERIOD.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON All decent points.
@UndeadPrivateer
Thanks.
I raised one.
And when I was raised it WAS with corporal punishment
verbal abuse and belligerence.
Most of my childhood was spent in fear and tears and I was always acting.
I have ACTIVELY been on BOTH sides of this.
Thanks.
I raised one.
And when I was raised it WAS with corporal punishment
verbal abuse and belligerence.
Most of my childhood was spent in fear and tears and I was always acting.
I have ACTIVELY been on BOTH sides of this.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON Same. Not with my own kids, but I've been around pretty much constantly for the raising of my eldest brother's kids and his eldest is a 13 year old daughter.
@Valentine
Yeah! Littlest KIND things in life mean a lot to me.
And THIS HERE TOPIC Q (the implications and ramifications of that, as it pertains to ME, my family my child(ren):
THAT kind of parenting
I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH:
THIS HAS SHAPED ME, FORGED ME.
AND HAS, FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE,
Has shaped me into the person I am.Into the parent I have become and still am becoming :)
Has shaped the with regards to my parenting:
Decisions I have made and incorporated diametrically opposing methods
to how my parents raised me.
So glad, that in life nothing is ever permanent. Not really.
Only the things that really matter:
LOVE, and all that organically flows from that. Those are things ETERNAL.
All else vanishes.
And I must concede: Generally, unless the people; are actual sociopaths/psychopaths: Parents DO have our best interests at heart even if they do beat us, yell at us and in general make us feel like
*shit floating in a sewer*.
yeah.
I have that ingrained in my mind.
Words form one of my parents.
You see..THEY were raised that way. They lived though a war!!!
They did what they thought was best.
The more I grow (read:LEARN) age and parent (sometimes, that is wisdom ;) 😁😀 )
I am able to forgive them.
I seen myself in THEM.
Hugs, Luna :) 😊🌺🏩
Yeah! Littlest KIND things in life mean a lot to me.
And THIS HERE TOPIC Q (the implications and ramifications of that, as it pertains to ME, my family my child(ren):
THAT kind of parenting
I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH:
THIS HAS SHAPED ME, FORGED ME.
AND HAS, FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE,
Has shaped me into the person I am.Into the parent I have become and still am becoming :)
Has shaped the with regards to my parenting:
Decisions I have made and incorporated diametrically opposing methods
to how my parents raised me.
So glad, that in life nothing is ever permanent. Not really.
Only the things that really matter:
LOVE, and all that organically flows from that. Those are things ETERNAL.
All else vanishes.
And I must concede: Generally, unless the people; are actual sociopaths/psychopaths: Parents DO have our best interests at heart even if they do beat us, yell at us and in general make us feel like
*shit floating in a sewer*.
yeah.
I have that ingrained in my mind.
Words form one of my parents.
You see..THEY were raised that way. They lived though a war!!!
They did what they thought was best.
The more I grow (read:LEARN) age and parent (sometimes, that is wisdom ;) 😁😀 )
I am able to forgive them.
I seen myself in THEM.
Hugs, Luna :) 😊🌺🏩