Best way to 'handle' what would appear to be a belligerent 11 year old girl?
I'm sort of asking for insider experience here...
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CLEAR Communication. Including but not limited to these:
Respect of her.
Respect of Self. [u]Never lose RESPECT element, please.[/u]
Communication of
your rules/Boundaries.
Reasonable and age appropriate Consequences.
[u]Consistency.
[b]Kindness[/b].
Therefore : Trust will be earned by both of you.
Repeat.[/u]
No violence ever. That will demonstrate some things: 1- You are a bully and difficult situations CAN and ought to be dealt with pain, intimidation and fear. 2-Also that you are NOT a safe person you can never be trusted. She will maybe turn to some *bad* influences.
So, thereby THAT will crate one of two kinds of humans: 1- A bully who in fact also has low self esteem.
2- A child with low /no self esteem who will potentially have issues due to the physical abuse. A victim.
And it IS abuse.
Any Neanderthal who things that there is a place for PHYSICAL ABUSE OF KIDS perhaps needs to be monitored carefully: How human is this human being?
But I feel there is no middle ground in my mind because to condone this is inhuman.
PERIOD.
Respect of her.
Respect of Self. [u]Never lose RESPECT element, please.[/u]
Communication of
your rules/Boundaries.
Reasonable and age appropriate Consequences.
[u]Consistency.
[b]Kindness[/b].
Therefore : Trust will be earned by both of you.
Repeat.[/u]
No violence ever. That will demonstrate some things: 1- You are a bully and difficult situations CAN and ought to be dealt with pain, intimidation and fear. 2-Also that you are NOT a safe person you can never be trusted. She will maybe turn to some *bad* influences.
So, thereby THAT will crate one of two kinds of humans: 1- A bully who in fact also has low self esteem.
2- A child with low /no self esteem who will potentially have issues due to the physical abuse. A victim.
And it IS abuse.
Any Neanderthal who things that there is a place for PHYSICAL ABUSE OF KIDS perhaps needs to be monitored carefully: How human is this human being?
But I feel there is no middle ground in my mind because to condone this is inhuman.
PERIOD.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON All decent points.
@UndeadPrivateer
Thanks.
I raised one.
And when I was raised it WAS with corporal punishment
verbal abuse and belligerence.
Most of my childhood was spent in fear and tears and I was always acting.
I have ACTIVELY been on BOTH sides of this.
Thanks.
I raised one.
And when I was raised it WAS with corporal punishment
verbal abuse and belligerence.
Most of my childhood was spent in fear and tears and I was always acting.
I have ACTIVELY been on BOTH sides of this.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON Same. Not with my own kids, but I've been around pretty much constantly for the raising of my eldest brother's kids and his eldest is a 13 year old daughter.
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON
oh wow.
[u]Thank you Valentine![/u]
[b][c=#002673]I WIN [/c][/b]:D 😆🎉🏆👈🏻👌🏻👏🏻💃🏻🌺👫!!!
oh wow.
[u]Thank you Valentine![/u]
[b][c=#002673]I WIN [/c][/b]:D 😆🎉🏆👈🏻👌🏻👏🏻💃🏻🌺👫!!!
@Valentine
Yeah! Littlest [b]KIND [/b]things in life mean a lot to me.
And THIS HERE TOPIC Q (the implications and ramifications of that, as it pertains to ME, my family my child(ren):
THAT kind of parenting
I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH:
THIS HAS SHAPED ME, FORGED ME.
AND HAS, FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE,
Has shaped me into the person I am.Into the parent I have become and still am becoming :)
Has shaped the with regards to my parenting:
Decisions I have made and incorporated diametrically opposing methods
to how my parents raised me.
So glad, that in life nothing is ever permanent. Not really.
Only the things that really matter:
[b][c=#BF0080]LOVE, and all that organically flows from that. Those are things ETERNAL. [/c][/b]
All else vanishes.
And I must concede: Generally, unless the people; are actual sociopaths/psychopaths: Parents DO have our best interests at heart even if they do beat us, yell at us and in general make us feel like
*shit floating in a sewer*.
yeah.
I have that ingrained in my mind.
Words form one of my parents.
You see..THEY were raised that way. They lived though a war!!!
They did what they thought was best.
The more I grow (read:LEARN) age and parent (sometimes, that is wisdom ;) 😁😀 )
I am able to forgive them.
I seen myself in THEM.
Hugs, Luna :) 😊🌺🏩
Yeah! Littlest [b]KIND [/b]things in life mean a lot to me.
And THIS HERE TOPIC Q (the implications and ramifications of that, as it pertains to ME, my family my child(ren):
THAT kind of parenting
I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH:
THIS HAS SHAPED ME, FORGED ME.
AND HAS, FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE,
Has shaped me into the person I am.Into the parent I have become and still am becoming :)
Has shaped the with regards to my parenting:
Decisions I have made and incorporated diametrically opposing methods
to how my parents raised me.
So glad, that in life nothing is ever permanent. Not really.
Only the things that really matter:
[b][c=#BF0080]LOVE, and all that organically flows from that. Those are things ETERNAL. [/c][/b]
All else vanishes.
And I must concede: Generally, unless the people; are actual sociopaths/psychopaths: Parents DO have our best interests at heart even if they do beat us, yell at us and in general make us feel like
*shit floating in a sewer*.
yeah.
I have that ingrained in my mind.
Words form one of my parents.
You see..THEY were raised that way. They lived though a war!!!
They did what they thought was best.
The more I grow (read:LEARN) age and parent (sometimes, that is wisdom ;) 😁😀 )
I am able to forgive them.
I seen myself in THEM.
Hugs, Luna :) 😊🌺🏩