I’m really worried I’ll end up committing suicide
I’m just worried when I think on my situation, that it’s going to end tragically for me.
As you probably know, if you’ve read my posts at times, I’m exceptionally close to my mother, I love and adore my mother and to me, life wouldn’t be worth living without her.
And I live with a torment, and profound guilt, sadness and regret that my mother has had to go through so much with me because I’ve had severe mental health problems from being 16, I’m 48 now, so struggled a very long time, I’ve made a lot of progress compared to how I once was…
But I do live with immense sadness & guilt feelings because of what my mother has gone through with me…..even though she is always telling me she understands, that she knows it’s my illness and not’me’, she’s also always reminding me of just how well I’ve done and how I’ve coped so well…
The thing is, my mum is elderly now but she assures me she is doing well for age, and has no serious health problems, only that she gets weary and tired easily now, and the deep discussions we’ve had daily, all my life, she finds difficult now?
So because I live with worry and anxiousness each day, I’m worrying and feel panicked over what she told me- even though she said I don’t have to worry, because she’s alright and just gets tired, because it’s natural at her age…….im thinking deeply about about it and contemplating it all…..despairing if anything was to happen to my wonderful special mother, I couldn’t live with it and fear that would be the end of me too?
I live alone now and my mother lives far away, but phones me 4x daily, I need that contact, otherwise I couldn’t cope with life.,
Has anyone got any advice, reassurance or anything you could say to console me? As I’m worrying a lot about my mother and feel terrified of the future.
As you probably know, if you’ve read my posts at times, I’m exceptionally close to my mother, I love and adore my mother and to me, life wouldn’t be worth living without her.
And I live with a torment, and profound guilt, sadness and regret that my mother has had to go through so much with me because I’ve had severe mental health problems from being 16, I’m 48 now, so struggled a very long time, I’ve made a lot of progress compared to how I once was…
But I do live with immense sadness & guilt feelings because of what my mother has gone through with me…..even though she is always telling me she understands, that she knows it’s my illness and not’me’, she’s also always reminding me of just how well I’ve done and how I’ve coped so well…
The thing is, my mum is elderly now but she assures me she is doing well for age, and has no serious health problems, only that she gets weary and tired easily now, and the deep discussions we’ve had daily, all my life, she finds difficult now?
So because I live with worry and anxiousness each day, I’m worrying and feel panicked over what she told me- even though she said I don’t have to worry, because she’s alright and just gets tired, because it’s natural at her age…….im thinking deeply about about it and contemplating it all…..despairing if anything was to happen to my wonderful special mother, I couldn’t live with it and fear that would be the end of me too?
I live alone now and my mother lives far away, but phones me 4x daily, I need that contact, otherwise I couldn’t cope with life.,
Has anyone got any advice, reassurance or anything you could say to console me? As I’m worrying a lot about my mother and feel terrified of the future.
46-50, M
