So, this is the first Mother’s Day sans Maman…

I spent some extra time journaling this morning. Reflecting.
The rest of the day was mostly business as usual. Cleaning house, chasing my own little ones, cooking dinner.

I did run across this last night and thought of you:

IF YOU ARE A WOMAN WITHOUT HER MOTHER

There will never be a day you don’t miss her.
Never a day, where you don’t wish you could hear her voice or ask for her advice just one more time.
There will never be a moment that you don’t regret all the times you screened her call, or missed a visit, simply because life was just too busy.
And now you realise busy is fake, it isn’t real.
She was real and she is gone.
And you are alone.
And the feeling of abandonment and loneliness is huge. Mind-blowing, no matter how loved or surrounded by family you may be.
None of it is her.
When the woman who brought you into this world is no longer here, it is a lonely place.
And you are now she.
You are now the one expected to guide, to discipline, to love, to handle everything, for everyone. And that is a shock.
But you got this.
Because she taught you well.
She made you right and she made you strong and she filled you with enough love to share around, even after she was gone.
So go on.
And make her proud.
And remember, look out for the little girl who still lives inside you somewhere, she misses her Mama very much.
Be kind.

Credit: Donna Ashworth

We got together at my sister's house.
Yesterday we had a memorial for my cousin (who died of cancer in his 50s). We had dinner afterward, with all 6 of my sisters in attendance....remembering our Mom as well as our cousin.

Spent the day with my wife’s family. Baked a blueberry pie in mom’s honor (she cared a lot about homemade pies with properly made crust).

No...My mom died in 2013....Mother's Day doesn't really bother me per se. It's more random....any given day, I miss her in a very....very something way....nothing about this day...

I cooked one of her recipes, and my wife and I had her in mind as we shared it.

Same with my family. We all got together and took the little grandkids down to the beach to play...which they loved...and handled the day pretty well. However, when everyone left it was a bit tougher being alone.

My mother died suddenly one week before Mother’s Day. That was 5 years ago. We were still in shock for the first Mother’s Day.

I didn't knew back then about it. Life is never the same in their physical absence. Certain choices sentients don't get to enjoy. Live through it.

Withdrew.
My mother in law was still about so we did something for her and I attended but I wasn't there spiritually.

I went to visit her grave...

I wrote a blog ......probably the first year is the hardest but its been a while. The first year my brothers and I visited her grave