I am very tired

I really don't know what I would have done without this place... Being able to share here about my plans, problems, and feelings, has been a GREAT help... I post silly stuff all the time, but I think it is pretty much a defense mechanism....It doesn't mean that I am happy... It's been really tough, and still is :( Nothing I do, that doesn't remind me of my mother. I see a date, and it reminds me of something... I see an episode, and it reminds me of my life back then.. Problem is that my life for the recent years has been incredibly stressful and miserable.. I was trapped so badly, and I cannot wish to have such life back.. But it is sad that it had to end with my mother gone forever.. Because she is the only parent I had.

This year has been very tough... Having to deal with my mother sickness, suffering, weakness, and pain... Also seeing her not in her right mind and losing it has been extremely tough, that I still randomly remember it all ...

I am very tired of this... I really hope when I go on vacation that I will rest, sleep properly, and not think about sad things.. Because I am very tired.