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I Miss My Mother

This weekend I was reminded of my mother repeatedly....this morning I found myself crying over her and missing her. This doesn't happen often. And still I'm crying, and thinking of her memory and how loved she was by many.

Saturday was the 12 year anniversary of her death, Sunday the 2nd year of a tradition my family started to remember her life. We participate in a run/walk fundraising event for colon cancer research and awareness (she died from colon cancer). There were 21 of us there, last year there was a lot of my mother's side of the family too, not all the same people, but it is something we plan on doing every year.

This morning I saw a news article about the event, and how 1,200 people had participated yesterday. It moved me...and while I wished she was one of the survivors, I'm proud that my family keeps her memory alive.

The event allows us to make teams, we made a team, and our own shirts with her name on it. I wore a sign with a picture of her and an "in loving memory" note on it.

After we did the walk and others the run, they provided a pancake breakfast. While I sat there talking with family, a woman approached me and referenced my sign and said "I went to school with her, she was younger than me but we were on student council together" and went on to praise her character and ask how long ago she had passed. It was a reminder of just how memorable of a person she was/is. It's happened many times that people have known her when I mention her, or that others have met people whose lives she touched. She was a caring, happy, charismatic person that loved everyone. I hope to be half the woman she is.
kellygalx
I'm sure your mother is close to you even tho in spirit.she will still be connected to you and would want you to know that she is proud of everything you achieve in life and one day you will be able to accept her human life was not perfect becuz no_-one,s is and grieving and missing someone is a natural part of life. Could you light a candle when you miss her and speak to her with your mind or outloud and try to feel peaceful as you gaze at the flame... .Later you will listen to the voice within. Thousands and millions of people miss loved ones who have passed away, or passed on. Im sure your mom is honored to hear your thoughts and i am sure she would like you to feel confident that a mothers love never ends as it is a unique bond. I understand how you feel. Be strong little sister..your mother is at peace and she is away from suffering ...she will still love your vibrant spirit even tho she is not physically present she will be spiritually with you .
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
Thank you for the encouragement. I am at a certain amount of peace from grieving her death. I do not know if one ever completely grieves a loved one, but I acknowledge her ongoing love for me. I realize she wasn't perfect as no one is, but I like to cherish the perfections of her that I remember. That is a sweet idea to light candles when I miss her, especially since I love candles. I have been strong and I am confident that she is in a better place and no longer in pain...it's just every now and then that missing her really strikes strong.
Diablessse
Those tears were simply an excess of emotion overflowing through your eyes. You will never stop missing her, but that is also what keeps her alive in your heart. On another note, it is so very comforting to meet people who knew her and to hear all the nice things they have to say about her. And then, some day, someone who knew her well will tell you how much you remind them of her, and that will be the best compliment you have ever received.
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
To be compared to her as her daughter, would be the best compliment I could ever get, you're right. Yes, it is good to cry too sometimes. And you're right it keeps her alive in my heart, which is what I want to always be the case. I always feel proud when I meet people that speak highly of her.
Diablessse
She will always be alive in your heart, and you will feel her presence in moments when you really need her.
jemeq75
I smiled and cried simultaneously while reading your post. My mom passed of lung cancer 5-1/2 years ago. -- I share the sentiment you've expressed in your last few sentences.
-- May you continue to smile through the tears!
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
This was a sweet response to read from you, thank you. It's hard I know, but you continue to smile through your tears as well. Amazing mothers and women are not easily forgotten. We both know this it sounds like :)

 
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