After Christmas my 8 year old grandson wants to learn how to box..

So..in this ever growing violent world i want take him Boxing. I believe in never forcing a child to do anything they never want to do. I love the art of fighting. It still never stopped me getting bullied even though i learned to slip and punch pretty hard with both hands. But RL violence by kids my own age back then terrified me. I love encouraging my children and grandchildren to do the things they desire so iam taking my 8 year old grandson. If he doesnt like it then it stops. Im kind of hoping he does though because being bullied is a terrifying ordeal. I think being forced to fight made me a "coward" back before i was a teenager. I lived in a very rough council estate and often got a punch in the face but, LOVED after a few years, going for it with gloves. It made me quick, strong and accurate and the lil dude who bullied me and made me afraid to go out to play in 1976 felt what it was like himself when we both turned 16. I just hate bullies and id encourage any parent whos child wants to learn a combat sport to hang with them, because guns and other 'cowardly ways to beat a person aside" its only your fists head and legs that will help protect you and get you away from a situation. Ive been in a few. I could look after myself OK but i think (today especially) learning from young age if desired will help anyone who learns the ability to block blows and counter and learning to wrestle too equates to where fights go. Fists or wrestle or both. Unless you got shot 😆 but its very unusual. But in much more common unharmed situations it is important for anyone who may face attacks that happen, and 90% do somewhere in life. We all could imaging a situation doing some combos on someone, but in the real world it doesnt work unless you know how a fight feels or have been hit.. theres genuinely only 1 way to condition/protect your face body and head. Boxing can be taught in many styles and elusive counter puches usually work. Hit and not be hit if atracked. I think its good if he wants it. He.ll only be hitting mitts and little bags at his age anyway. He wont be fighting. Just learning a very possible and useful tool for any event that in life"almost certainly may and do occur that he can get away safely from it. Or a better chance atleast, which is why im not hesitating to take my lil 8 year old GS to train if he likes it. Time will tell. Theres no pressure on him. But yes, if he does then the earlier the better. 99% of times people who can fight dont or dont want to. But theres always the odd trouble maker that you.ll encounterat some point. The point of this post is to ask would you take your kids/grandkids/nieces/nephews to do such a thing? I just fear the ugliness in this world brewing up. Even a punch and run tactic will do. But if you cant fight (and theres nothing wrong with that) you do usually end up being someones prey. And they are usually very cowardly types who repeat the ugly process if you dont or cannot stand up for yourself. It can be a tough deal in life to be on the receiving end.
And I have. Millions have also.... So

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LadyGrace ·

This is just my personal opinion, but I would not have him train as a boxer. All that beating to the head is not good. It's pretty brutal. And I know one can get hit in the head in other sports, too, but I believe this is too much for any human brain to sustain without serious consequences. Our cranium was not meant to be boxed around like that. Eventually, it has to take a toll. I believe I would have him trained in karate and work his way up to a black belt. That should be plenty enough to defend himself.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace I agree to a point. I also totally respect your opinion. When i post its for good or bad reactions. The reality of boxing with gloves is more dangerous than bare knuckle fighting in the street. A head is harder than a hand. So with gloves. Especially 10/12 oz which are fighting gloves. 4 oz MMA gloves allows you to hit FULL on. A very different technique is used in bare knuckle fighting. The hands need to be clenched tight constantly and the damage less than the technique of loose hands just up until the point of contact gloved up. I doubt he.ll be fighting in any ring at 8. It.ll just be bag work. Mitts. Learning the very very early stages of it. Skipping etc. Fitness is great. Hes small for his age so his advantage will be to learn defensive fughting where being hit is far less than the usual come forward brawler type of fighter. More people get injured in rugby than boxing. Not that it make it ok. Im not saying you are wrong either. Brain damage is very real. And you see punch drunk fighters after carrers have finished.Ive have been around it and watched it since around 5 years old and out the literal thousands of fights and fighters past and present a tiny percentage end up damaged. Its the same with any contact sport. The risks are there. I just fear that in this very strange ever more violent world we live in will see him a victim of violence. If he ends up not liking it then no pressure at all. If he wanted to be a weight lifter id support him. But again very very damaging eventually. Id support him if in anything he wants to do whether its fighting or not. As long as it keeps him healthy or gives him hope in this world then i will back all 5 of my grandkids all of the way

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 I expected your response. I respect it, as well, but I disagree. I also feel that training a child that young takes their innocence away and their childhood. It forces them to grow up much too fast. They grow up fast enough, as it is. It's a hard world out there, yes, but I feel these types of sports should start, perhaps, in high school. I cringe when I see military dads force their kids to be "tough" at such an early age. And I'm not comparing you in this scenario. Right away, they want to make little "men" out of them. The poor kids don't even get time to enjoy their childhood without their fathers wanting them to be "tough men" when they're only in grade school. I'm sorry, but that just really upsets me. I always feel like this world is hard enough without bringing all this on them when their minds are really not ready for it.

I do know you're not forcing this on your child and he's really wanting to have fun with this and learn. I think that's great on one hand, but on the other, at his age, I don't feel he's equipped at his age, to make adult decisions or understand how this might influence his life. No disrespect meant. At any rate, I hope you two have lots of fun with this and lots of Father and Son time, you can both look back on and enjoy, many years to come.

It's just that Mom's look at that a lot different than dad's. Haha I visualize and really feel that getting boxed in the head like that all the time damages the fluid inside the brain. People might laugh at that but whatever. I just don't think that's healthy at all. It has to mess up the equilibrium. It's as if their brain has been in a car crash, and that can not be good. That's the way I see it.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Yeah im 100% NOT a military style person. Its his choice. Schools dont teach any skills in that field here. Its twice a week and if at any time he wants to pull out thats up to him. Ive not put it on him. Honestly i know your not being funny. Ive got a brother whos like that. A real prick and his kids petrified of him. Infact they rebelled and ended up not too great in life. I dont like him for his disciplinary ways. My grandson could take up bally dancing and id back him. And thats all im doing. Backing him. Not forcjng him or even encouraging him. He wants a BMX for Christmas. Im buying him one. He could fall off. Kids have to learn mistakes in life. Not through force but by experience 👍

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 I didn't think you were that strict like a military dad. Something else to think about though, is we are the adults and we're supposed to protect our kids and I'm not saying you don't. I'm sure you protect him 100%, but I don't think a child is capable of making or even understanding the potential physical consequences, these high risk sports could cause, like an adult can. That's where I feel parents should step in and protect the child.

I realize we can't just lock them up and worry that they're going to get hurt every whip stitch. They have to play and have fun and yes, they're going to get hurt, but this is different, as it involves head injuries. That seems very dangerous and risky, in my humble opinion, as permanent injury could occur, which is irreversible. It's not like it hasn't happened before. I believe this is where parents have an obligation to step in and do some serious thinking. I feel we're obligated to protect them in this way.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Honestly. Hand on my heart i know you are only talking from a good place. But its what he wants. If he wanted to be a armed robber id be concerned lol. But he wont fight at his age. Tbf it takes years of training to be experienced enough to get in a ring. If any trainer tried to sway me to get him to fight in a ring so young id tell them to do one. My son llays rugby and got hospitalised by a liver shot from someones shoulder. Theres more injuries in rugby by far honestly. Btw its my 8 year old grandson not my son. But seriously i totally respect what you are saying. And i mean this with total respect when i say it wasnt boxjng that ended your late husbands career god rest his soul. All im doing is backing his wants. His little BMX im getting him for Christmas i.ll put it in the car or go to dartmoor and take my bike. I just want a unpushed connection with all 5 of my grandchildren. Most kids stay in all evening on playstations. To me thats far more damaging to a childs development and future. I honestly respect your views though and i know it comes from a caring kind place.

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 I know he does honey and that's really exciting. I didn't mean to be so bossy sounding. I really do think it's wonderful and you guys will have so much fun! If that's what he wants then you know that's what he should do. Really. People take risks everyday and I'm probably too strict in my opinion. I'm just glad that you and your son will be spending quality time with each other and what a great dad you are for doing that and urging him on and supporting him. I think I'm just feeling overprotective haha that's what mom's to haha.

If you wanted to be a armed robber you'd be concerned. 🤣😂😂 That's so funny hahaha I agree buddy, I agree. Hahaha You're right. I need to lighten up hahaha

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 You know, you made me realize that what made me fearful of this sport for kids is that his dad was so strict on him. He was so abusive and he forced him to take boxing lessons at 4 years old and boy, was his training brutal. This is where that fear stems from. Thank you for helping me realize that. He was so fearful of his father, that he broke his arm one time at school and didn't dare tell his dad for fear he would get beaten.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Honestly. Ive seen you here for years and not once have you ever been rude or ignorant. 😆😆 Honestly its ok. You sound like my mother though haha. She would have given you 20 hearts if she were here. Lol. I know youve a good heart. When we post here we take the good with the bad. Its different when people are outright rude. But you are a nice person here as far as ive ever seen. No need to lighten up lol. Many would agree with you. Some with me. Its nice to have healthy debates.

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 oh my! Your poor son having his liver damaged like that. Boy that's rough. That's rough. Bless his heart. You sure are a great loving dad. And you're definitely right. I realize it takes years before you can get in the ring.

Oh sorry. You're eight year old grandson. Boy is he going to love his BMX!!!! That is so cool of you Grandpa! Hahaha you are really a cool Grandpa and it's clear that you love all your children and grandchildren. They are so blessed to have you and I mean that with all my heart. Oh man, I am with you a thousand percent on what you said about PlayStations. Yep. Totally agree. You guys have the greatest and best Christmas ever!

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Im so sorry. Thats really sad. 💙 I was forced to glove up. My dad loved me though. But if i cried which i did many times i was told cry or fight. Same as when id get punched in the face regularly when we were evicted to a tough neighbourhood in 1976. It was his way to save me i guess. My older brothers dont agree with me. Im the youngest of 6. Geesus that brought a bit of a lump in my throat reading what you wrote. Im very in touch with my emotions now at 57 years old. So sad. Im so sorry. I cried watching sonny Listons story too. Horrific. Big hugs to you dear lady. Truly.

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 Laughing my head off hahaha oh my gosh, that was hilarious... remind you of your mom hahaha yep, me and your mom would been best buds haha for sure.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Id have got a verbal boxing match i could NEVER win if you both ganged up on me. Hahaha. She was a diamond though bless her soul. But yeah. Shed be right with you.

LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 that's really sad that you had to glove up and not cry. Same with Robert. My late husband. I think back then they really believe that if you're tough and tell them don't cry, it will make them tougher. But but my goodness, a little kid is a little kid. That's abusive and I'm so sorry you went through that.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace Bless you. Thank you. And honestly its why id never force anything on anyone. But yes it was "man up" . I love my dad though still. He died in 1983 when i just turned 15. I ended up in prison before i turned 16. Torn up by grief and confusion. Ive lead a stupid and crazy youth. Drug addition. Homelessness. Been kidnapoed. Its why im very protective over my kids and grandkids. Dysfunction breeds Dysfunction in many cases and thankfully i broke the mould. My grown up children of 38 and 31 have nice homes. Nice cars. Nice lives. That gives me a uplift enough to keep fighting old demons daily. Im sure your husband could relate bless him. Life can be harsh but im lucky enough to be sat in my home talking to lovely people with warmth. Food. A car. And clothing. Im not materialistic and i like to think my heart is in the right place. Im not perfect by any means. I just keep trying and trying. Thats all we can do hey. I love this place because of people like you.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace If you want to watch by one of my relatives watch SMITH VS MASON 2013 GYPSY FIGHT its on Youtube. The bald one Elias is a relative of mine from up north. Its reffed but fought in a barn on a cold day. Not my thing but a decent fight for a non pro fight. Hey can i just say you are a really nice person. Theres a few here i really like and our chat has made me see your authenticity. You have a very very good heart. It sounds a bit cringy i know but you really do. I love your honesty. Thank you for a lovely chat. 💙

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LadyGrace ·

@Perry1968 it doesn't sound cringy at all. In fact it really touched my heart. Thank you.

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace @LadyGrace Im sorry. That just made me cry. I had to take half a hour out. Can i just try to give you my own analogy of pain. For decades you have carried a very very large rock on your shoulders. Get out your hammer and chisel and chip away at it until your last days. We cannot carry very large rocks placed upon our shoulders. What we can do though is carry a stone. This is a way of thinking i carry and it helps. Your journey has been sad and terrible. Your husband really hurt you because the dysfunction he experienced he never tried to change. That dysfunction bread dysfunction and you were on the receiving end of it. My dad cheated on mum alot. She ended up a alcoholic and hooked on benzos. I was born addicted to both being the last of 6 kids. She had been in mental hospitals a few times because of it. Like yourself even after he passed in1983 she never said a bad word about him. I had to ask her. My heart aches for you. You and your husband almost sound like my mum and dad. My beautiful mother passed in 2001. She like you was a truly beautiful soul. Like you iam broken but also like you we are not unfixable. PLEASE use the analogy of chipping away at your rock until its a stine you can carry. I too have PTSD. BPD. Can i just say (and i dont say this to many unless i recognise true pain) that you are more than welcome to talk to me ANYTIME. Some of the nicest people i have ever met or spoken to are like yourself. Very very lived and with beautiful hearts and souls. I truly wish you the very very best in life. I have had EMDR to desensitise me over some issues. And only last month finished Dialectical behaviour therapy. It really did help to control emotions. Although i just cried i cried because i care. I care for people and especially those like you. I dont want to sound weird but if i could wrap my arms around you i truly would in a soul to soul manner. Like i would and did to my own mum. You keep fighting and nevef give up. You are one of lifes true warriors. I wish you nothjng but very good fortune. You have a one off kind of soul. As sad as it is its nice to know we are not alone in this world. I sit here in Plymouth UK. You in America. Yet we still connect with thjngs in common and or things we both relate to or experience and have true empathy for. That makes life worth living and brings about a connection even though we are literally oceans apart. 💙

Perry1968 · M

@LadyGrace I also want to thank you too for being so brave to share such depth and experience. Your are in my heart and in my thoughts. And for that i thank you. One of if not the most interesting. Deep conversations ive ever had here.