My relationship with my daughter is very close
I’ve been a single Mum to my 11 years old her entire life and she has always made it clear that she loves being an only child and best friend, and would often comment that “I’m not allowed” to have anymore children. She has come to terms with the reality of my not knowing who her father is, because of the lifestyle I had and was living in reaction to the closeness of my parents who I think she feels micromanaged our family life, so her father was undiscovered and therefore more than a bit absent from our lives, so it has always been the two of us against the world!
When Edoardo came on the scene, we never discussed anything about my settling down with him and our becoming a family, because I’ve been terrified of anything changing and affecting our relationship but it was extremely important that we brought her along with the prospects of a pregnancy, and my telling her because I have feared this pregnancy has already given me a lot of anxiety and I didn’t want her to think this was going to be a repeat of the experience with her father. Including her in everything has been very much fundamental to me, and I really am blessed that Edoardo is very understanding about this.
After many therapy sessions, my parents have said I should give her the benefit of the doubt and just tell her. My mother said if she reacts negatively, then all we can do is support her but let her know this is something we’re doing together- and make sure she’s a part of the process (gender reveal, naming, picking out clothes and toys, etc). She also recommended telling her about our decisions to have a family and a renewal of prospects, if we felt comfortable.
Well, we announced our pregnancy to her but we didn’t get any of that negativity I feared. We didn’t plan on it the dates but we told her that we were trying for a baby and this led to some in-depth discussions about sex and pregnancy and I was inspired and encouraged by ended up telling her this was very special to us, and her energy shifted from it being about her to realizing how important this is to all three of us. After the first hour, she really started to get excited and hasn’t stopped rubbing my belly and kissing it and thinking of names. I love seeing her so happy about her impending adoption by Edoardo, and I am reassured by her happy and complete acceptance of the changes in our family dynamic.
When Edoardo came on the scene, we never discussed anything about my settling down with him and our becoming a family, because I’ve been terrified of anything changing and affecting our relationship but it was extremely important that we brought her along with the prospects of a pregnancy, and my telling her because I have feared this pregnancy has already given me a lot of anxiety and I didn’t want her to think this was going to be a repeat of the experience with her father. Including her in everything has been very much fundamental to me, and I really am blessed that Edoardo is very understanding about this.
After many therapy sessions, my parents have said I should give her the benefit of the doubt and just tell her. My mother said if she reacts negatively, then all we can do is support her but let her know this is something we’re doing together- and make sure she’s a part of the process (gender reveal, naming, picking out clothes and toys, etc). She also recommended telling her about our decisions to have a family and a renewal of prospects, if we felt comfortable.
Well, we announced our pregnancy to her but we didn’t get any of that negativity I feared. We didn’t plan on it the dates but we told her that we were trying for a baby and this led to some in-depth discussions about sex and pregnancy and I was inspired and encouraged by ended up telling her this was very special to us, and her energy shifted from it being about her to realizing how important this is to all three of us. After the first hour, she really started to get excited and hasn’t stopped rubbing my belly and kissing it and thinking of names. I love seeing her so happy about her impending adoption by Edoardo, and I am reassured by her happy and complete acceptance of the changes in our family dynamic.
26-30, F
