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I Hate My Mother In Law

Ok. so I don't hate her, but I do find her irritating and upsetting. Here's why:
We got along wonderful for 6 years until I wanted her son to get sober and stop selling weed, she was in complete denial he was having such a problem with popping pills, mixing with alcohol, and not getting his s*it together.
She wanted us to do things her way- scheduling our day ("you should be up at 5a-dressed by 6a- and have breakfast made and lunch and dinner planned.)
She never had a daughter- just two boys- so my stepdaughter has become her "daughter". My MIL got very upset I wanted my stepdaughter to return and stay in public school. MIL insisted she pay for private Christian school. Out of 8 grandchildren, my stepdaughter is the one with spoiled -favoritism special treatment. This lady doesn't let her son and I parent how we want. It's like we aren't good enough, and also, my youngest two don't spend nights with this grandma.
I will figure out how to get their dad to tell his mom that unless she is willing to treat all grandkids equal and take all of them for a sleepover, she can't be around them.
She thinks her opinion is most important and right in room, goes to church, tells my stepdaughter that I don't have money to go out and waste or spend on things like a pedicure girls day when I see my SD.
That's not her place to say anything so judgingly.
I just wish she'd stop treating the one grandchild as worthy of a spoiled and privileged education etc. because her other grandkids are going to ask questions and be hurt as they realize they aren't as special.
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SW-User
She seems imperious... and that she hasn't seemed to adjust to people. Christ should have an effect on her... but it's not apparent based on what you write here.