I have only realized in the recent year or so that my mom is somewhat mentally controlling or abusive.

She has always had a quick temper. Especially towards me, my dad and her mom. (Her mom died 9 years ago) she never acts that way towards my daughter or her husband. But it's like I'm not allowed to even speak sometimes. She dominates conversations. She likes to think she knows everything because she's the parent and I'm the child. If I even know answers to trivia games, she questions how I knew that. Then she'll jokingly say stuff like "smarty pants" she took offence back after my sister went to college and gained knowledge and stuff. If my sister was talking about something in depth, it's like mom felt offended. But the main thing is, she can yell at me, put me down, and if I stick up for myself, I get yelled at even more. She finds herself apologizing to me pretty often. She knows when her temper unnecessarily got out of hand, and she later says sorry. It's the feeling I get inside. There's a certain feeling you get when you're controlled or abused emotionally and I feel that feeling with her sometimes. One day when she apologized to me for blowing up, she said "You used to get mad at me too though" but she doesn't realize it was because I was standing up to her. Back 32 years ago when her and dad split up for a short while, I noticed in all these years now, dad doesn't stick up for his self either because he's afraid she will leave. When I think back to childhood when they fought all the time. I realize now it was mainly because of her getting so crazy over nothing. Sometimes she will just flat out put a stop to me speaking. Doesn't even matter if it's about her or not. One time I was just frustrated with life and wanted to vent a little and she shut me down. She brings up stuff way from the past and can't let it go. She occasionally brings up just the regular kid stuff me and my sister did in our school years and act like we were such bad kids. Acts like she was tormented over it. She used to blame us for her smoking (even though she started before we were born) but the main thing is, shuting me down when I start talking or puting me down like I'm some imbecile incapable of anything in life. I try not to even start regular conversations with her because even if it starts off talking about simple things, somehow the conversations always end up with her in tears. Or blaming me for stuff that happened 20-40 years ago.