Bless you. Reading this has really made me want to give you a hug. I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. I have three adopted children and although I've not experienced postpartum depression I can certainly relate to feeling much of what you described on my own parenting journey. Be gentle with yourself mama, do you have someone who helps with the baby so you can take a break? It's so much to adjust to.

Did you get help from your doctor yet? They will be able to help with hormone balance and prescribe the right meds if you need it.

I'm an aromatherapist and the other day I was reading this study on the use of Lavender and Rose otto essential oils for postpartum depression.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ctcp.2012.05.002

If you'd like to try this you can use 30ml of carrier oil with 8 drops each of the Rose otto and Lavender. They are lovely essential oils and the therapeutic qualities of them are astounding.

Big hugs to you. This won't be forever. You'll get through. I said a prayer for you and your little one xx

If you ever need to talk I went through the same thing with my daughter exhaustion worry anxiety so many emotions you got this mama 🩷

Sending hugs x

Loving a child and feeling not worthy of the privilege and honor of being the parent is the sign of a great parent. Means you know the responsibility.

Hugs .

Hi, I read something like this today: if you have anyone. Family or friends. Please reach out and ask for help. You need support from real people around you. Wishing you positivity.

I had postpartum with my daughter, it took me until she was 19 months old to admit it and go on antidepressants, after 10 months I was myself again and went off them. 🤗🤗

My first question is have you spoken to your doctor about what you are feeling? You have done nothing wrong, it is not your fault you feel this way and it doesn't have to be like this. It is possible to find your missing pieces, to shed the heavy weight and be you again. Do it for your little boy while he is still little if you can't seem to find the energy or will to do it for yourself. You are not alone either beautiful.

I wish I could do something to help you! I'm always a message away if you need to vent.

Being a parent is the toughest thing you’ll do. Allow that no one is perfect but we do the best for our kids and they know that.

I don't claim to understand being a mother but I do understand that it's okay to experience these thoughts and feelings.

I'm here to say it as you worded. You can feel like you're drowning and still love your baby with your whole heart. I know you do. 🫂

There is a reason why you don't recognize yourself. You are no longer your past self. You are now a mother. It takes fire to make steel. You are feeling the heat. The result will be spectacular. I promise you. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and realize you are not alone. ❤

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

I hesitate to go on, because I don't want to be "that guy" who says, "I know what happened to someone else, so of course that is what will happen to you". Please don't read the following in that spirit.

My wife also experienced post-partum depression. She talked with her doctor about it. He suggested medication that often treats post-partum depression.

She declined, preferring to be more "natural and holistic" in her approach.

The results, and long-term consequences, were devastating. She eventually wished she had taken the doctor's advice.

I am not trying to tell you what to do, other than to strongly suggest you talk with a medical professional about options, and the positives and negatives of them. And then make your own decision.

Our daughter is in her 30's now, but my wife still has to take psychiatric medication for psychosis and clinical depression for the rest of her life. Because of that, and because I know the hell it has put both of us through, my conscience nagged me to share the story with you. I acknowledge however that it might not apply to you at all.

I hear you. There's far too much silence in a woman's life. Far too much pretence that things just go smoothly, when life is taking a toll on us. Hormones playing havoc with our brain , but not just, mental fatigue due to all the silent risks we have to anticipate, lack of support .

Damn I'm so sorry your going though that but I'm even more happy that your talking about it. Cause if you dont say you need help you wont get help. That being said maybe you need to talk to a professional

Post partum depression is nutritional. There are areas in the distant world where the placenta is turned into a soup for the mother to consume. As gross as you might think that is, in these tribes post partum depression is not a known thing.