I sabotage myself and my potential friendships/relationships but I don't really know why.

I'm aware I do it. If anyone here has ever gotten a private message from me, I am trying hard to connect. While also wanting to run screaming to the delusion of safety. Which is what I normally do. I can't let anyone in. I can't remember why I stopped. I've been through my fair share of effed up disappointments over the past decade. I keep getting colder and more alone. But this isn't really me. Or is this me, now...

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onrealityofdreams · M

Reading what you wrote I think you're looking out for yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. You're being careful. I think that's admirable.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@onrealityofdreams I'm miserable though.

onrealityofdreams · M

@ScreamingFox Trauma will cause one to feel and be miserable. I don't want you to think it's acceptable for you to be in this misery but know this: many are not as aware as you are. Very few are able or willing to be as open about it as you are.