I Miss My Grandfather

My grandfather died 20 years ago. I was only a little girl back then and I barely remember him. Or I do have these very clear memories of him and they don't fade in the same way as other memories. Even though I was so little I felt some kind of special kinship to him. He was very smart, kind and passionate about the things he cared about. He studied math and was very good at chess. He would always read to me. He would laugh when I asked him to always read the same story over and over again.

I was a really shy and quiet kid and not the way that normal kids with normal lives should be like. I later learned that he had social anxiety and maybe that is why he understood me. Even though I was so small I feel like I am most like him from all of my relatives.

He was widowed and never re-married. My father said that my grandmother was the love of his life and that he did not want to be with anyone else. I think that is so beautiful! I never met my grandmother.

I really actually think of him very often and feel bad that I did not get to know him for longer. I will always be filled with this feeling of special bond to him. It just feels weird to miss him more than people I knew way better and for longer.