When social anxiety is mistaken as autism
Today was the day I was going to pick up some things from the school art room. My mother came along (I’m a minor). The teacher I’ve had all year talked a lot and gave me the things I needed.
Every time I said “Oh, I don’t need that drawing, I’ll just end up throwing it away” She looked at me as if I said something weird and kept insisting. She also kept talking and tried holding conversations with me as she’s down throughout the whole year, saying how I’m her best student. This sounds normal but I promise you I’ve heard other students talk about her creepiness too.
I’m uncomfortable talking, not only because of my social anxiety but also because of her behaviour and personality. She’s been like this all year, and when I cower because of the public student attention she is just confused and keeps talking. Even when I’m clearly uncomfortable, trembling and stuttering and I feel the class their eyes look at me she just says “Why don’t you respond?” Even when talking to other students she comes off as insensitive. Really insensitive.
So now, as I wait outside the door of the classroom as my mother decided to give her one more goodbye, she asked her if I HAD AUTISM. Mind you, I am a teen, and barely have talked to her. Her reason for asking? “She’s so quiet.” She didn’t even bother to ask me myself, or wait until I was out of ear distance to ask my mother.
My mother has taken me to tests before, toddler observations, and so much to make sure I indeed didn’t have autism as a kid. Want to know what she said ?
“She has ADD,” (ADD doesn’t impact my personality, mind, or behaviour in the slightest tough so why say that??) “and probably a bit of autism.”
I talked to her about it afterwards. She said there was nothing wrong with having autism. I cried once I was alone. My mother has always been like this, blaming my insecurities and habits of little talking or even just bad grades on “ADD” even tough it doesn’t always affect me. She sometimes treats me like I’m dumb, but every psychologist she took me to said I’m not dumb, have high Intelligence, and am simpatic. Not exactly typical autistic traits.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not trying to “prove” I don’t have autism. No, what I hate is the fact my mother always assumes I have all sorts of conditions like dyslexia (I don’t and it’s been proven), ADHD (I don’t have that either, just ADD) and autism just because of my social anxiety which she also straight up refuses to let me get diagnosed for somewhere to see if I have it. She treats me like a baby from time to time, just my grandparents say “it’s okay not to understand since you’re a bit behind” while repeating basic second grader mathematics to me that I obviously know. Please, what the heck am I supposed to do at this point?
Every time I said “Oh, I don’t need that drawing, I’ll just end up throwing it away” She looked at me as if I said something weird and kept insisting. She also kept talking and tried holding conversations with me as she’s down throughout the whole year, saying how I’m her best student. This sounds normal but I promise you I’ve heard other students talk about her creepiness too.
I’m uncomfortable talking, not only because of my social anxiety but also because of her behaviour and personality. She’s been like this all year, and when I cower because of the public student attention she is just confused and keeps talking. Even when I’m clearly uncomfortable, trembling and stuttering and I feel the class their eyes look at me she just says “Why don’t you respond?” Even when talking to other students she comes off as insensitive. Really insensitive.
So now, as I wait outside the door of the classroom as my mother decided to give her one more goodbye, she asked her if I HAD AUTISM. Mind you, I am a teen, and barely have talked to her. Her reason for asking? “She’s so quiet.” She didn’t even bother to ask me myself, or wait until I was out of ear distance to ask my mother.
My mother has taken me to tests before, toddler observations, and so much to make sure I indeed didn’t have autism as a kid. Want to know what she said ?
“She has ADD,” (ADD doesn’t impact my personality, mind, or behaviour in the slightest tough so why say that??) “and probably a bit of autism.”
I talked to her about it afterwards. She said there was nothing wrong with having autism. I cried once I was alone. My mother has always been like this, blaming my insecurities and habits of little talking or even just bad grades on “ADD” even tough it doesn’t always affect me. She sometimes treats me like I’m dumb, but every psychologist she took me to said I’m not dumb, have high Intelligence, and am simpatic. Not exactly typical autistic traits.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not trying to “prove” I don’t have autism. No, what I hate is the fact my mother always assumes I have all sorts of conditions like dyslexia (I don’t and it’s been proven), ADHD (I don’t have that either, just ADD) and autism just because of my social anxiety which she also straight up refuses to let me get diagnosed for somewhere to see if I have it. She treats me like a baby from time to time, just my grandparents say “it’s okay not to understand since you’re a bit behind” while repeating basic second grader mathematics to me that I obviously know. Please, what the heck am I supposed to do at this point?
16-17, F