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I have been divorced for 20 years as of tomorrow

I've written about it before, so I won't go into much detail. My OCD nature compels me to acknowledge anniversaries and such; it helps me process and deal with the situation.

It really does seem like yesterday, going to the court house, settling up surprisingly quickly, and well in my favor(I'm typing this from the house we used to live in), but it was still shocking.

Little blips remain.
*BLIP* Seeing her for the first time in almost a year, and her telling me she's going to a Marilyn Manson/Jane's Addiction show;
*BLIP* Sitting in a room, finalizing the split;
*BLIP* Exiting the building as a nearby clock tower struck high noon;
*BLIP* Went to Tower Records. I remember I bought Beatles, Iron Maiden, and Barenaked Ladies CDs;
*BLIP* Stopped into Hooters, which was close to Tower, did a crossword puzzle with one of the waitresses;
*BLIP* Went to Petco and bought a Betta fish;
*BLIP* Returned home, where I played "Thanks, That Was Fun" by the Barenaked Ladies, which just seemed apt. My brain and nervous system went into "What the hell just happened?" mode. The finality, knowing that she's gone for good now, hit me harder than I had anticipated.
*BLIP* Rain storm that evening. The girl I was seeing at the time(the narc ex) refused to come over, which angered me.

Called into work the next day, because my brains were too scrambled.

Fast forward to today, hopefully getting remarried in the near future, happy with the relationship I have now. But I have to tip my hat to the experience, which took up almost 13 years of my life. Regrets? Not a single one. And, if these were the circumstances that led me to THIS moment? Even better.
It almost sounds like you have PTSD. Why would you regret having gotten away from such a person? I don't think you gave yourself enough time to process all this. I didn't realize what was really going on as I think I read through too quickly and then I see someone said you were married to a narcissist. It's like you go on and on about how bad she was and then have remorse or having divorced her or something I don't know but I don't think you have your head together before getting married again. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you haven't worked through the issues from the last person and that's a must.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@LadyGrace Ex-wife wasn't a narcissist. Exfiance was.
Scribbles · 31-35, F
Congrats on your current relationship and upcoming wedding!
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@Scribbles thank you
Likes2drive · 56-60, M
It’s been 7 years for me and no one in my future as of yet, I was married 17 years, not sure if I will get married again but who knows
JustNik · 51-55, F
I remember the surreality and oddness of some of the emotions. I’m so happy you landed in a good place! 😄🤗
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
Have you moved on yet
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@Jenny1234 Yes, thank you. I am currently with a wonderful woman going on 13 years now and although not officially engaged, we are planning things.
Strictextendedfamily · 18-21, F
It’s never easy to
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Thanks to everyone for, well, listening to my crap.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@Strictextendedfamily Yes. Actually, I began dating a few months after filing [i]which I do not recommend, it was too soon[/i]. I dated a crazy person for 6 years, and the fact is that she got her hooks in me because I was vulnerable during the proceedings. Divorce is one of the most stressful things a person goes through.
Strictextendedfamily · 18-21, F
@uncalled4 do you still have contact with former wife ?
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uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@LadyGrace Thank you

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