It was 19 years ago today. :(
It was one of the strangest days of my life. Got to the courthouse early, around 8:30, spoke to her briefly, spoke to the lawyers, worked with something called an "early settlement panel" and was divorced, manila envelope in hand, by noon.
I knew it was noon as I approached my car because I heard the bong-bong-bong of a nearby clock tower. I knew it was just telling me the time, but to me it was High Noon- the reckoning, and I had won the shootout.
Dazed from the proceedings, I headed to a record store(remember those?) where I bought discs from The Beatles, Barenaked Ladies and Iron Maiden...all bases covered. I was still a little confused, so I headed over to a nearby Hooters, where I spent my time not ogling the girls, but having lunch and helping one of the servers with a crossword puzzle.
It had been a sunny day, but the weather quickly turned to a cold rainstorm. I had been seeing someone to ease some of my pain, but she refused to come over in the rain.
People paint this picture of parading down the street when the "i"s get dotted and "t"s crossed, but that was NOT the mood I was in. This was REAL. She, whom I previously called my best friend, was gone. And that's what really hurt...losing that friendship and deep, deep connection. One-of-a-kind things with people no longer alive that I can never, ever have again. Having the new lady not be that person and come over while I was upset just hammered that point home---it was just ME now, and I'd better get used to it.
I did get used to it, and the good news is, there is most certainly life after divorce. I'm in a far, far better place on every level.
Yet, I pay tribute to a trying time in my life. Those of you also going through this.....do not falter. And best of luck.
I knew it was noon as I approached my car because I heard the bong-bong-bong of a nearby clock tower. I knew it was just telling me the time, but to me it was High Noon- the reckoning, and I had won the shootout.
Dazed from the proceedings, I headed to a record store(remember those?) where I bought discs from The Beatles, Barenaked Ladies and Iron Maiden...all bases covered. I was still a little confused, so I headed over to a nearby Hooters, where I spent my time not ogling the girls, but having lunch and helping one of the servers with a crossword puzzle.
It had been a sunny day, but the weather quickly turned to a cold rainstorm. I had been seeing someone to ease some of my pain, but she refused to come over in the rain.
People paint this picture of parading down the street when the "i"s get dotted and "t"s crossed, but that was NOT the mood I was in. This was REAL. She, whom I previously called my best friend, was gone. And that's what really hurt...losing that friendship and deep, deep connection. One-of-a-kind things with people no longer alive that I can never, ever have again. Having the new lady not be that person and come over while I was upset just hammered that point home---it was just ME now, and I'd better get used to it.
I did get used to it, and the good news is, there is most certainly life after divorce. I'm in a far, far better place on every level.
Yet, I pay tribute to a trying time in my life. Those of you also going through this.....do not falter. And best of luck.
