I Am Divorced

One Year... June 12, 2012, one year since everything was legally final.
In some ways it was over much sooner than that, and yet in many ways it is still not over. I am not sure if it ever will be.
There are many different angles to the divorce question but in the end you have to weigh the lesser of the evils.
'Two is better than one' comes to mind. Does that still apply if the two fail to work together, to the point where they actually undermine one another? How much can two people together accomplish when they are jealous? or when they undermine each other? When it becomes a competition? When they intentionally hurt each other?
Is 1.24 better than 2 people at odds?
The question is, do I love this person enough to sacrifice myself?
Another, am i doing it all by myself anyways?
Trying to do it alone with 2 people is a struggle.
Can I live with myself afterwards...
can i ever forgive myself?
To the therapist Wednesday.
:)

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LivingDavid

Everyone should be so smart to have a therapist. (Of course, it's expensive without insurance.) One grieving "technique" (economical-therapy) that worked for me... I watched many GOOD romantic stories on channels like PixL or UP (use to be GMC). Wholesome romances which showed how marriage SHOULD BE... I shed buckets of tears and let myself accept and grieve the FACT that my former marriage was not healthy. I later read about this method in a book, as a mean of expediting grief. Try it? I don't have children, so I had many hours alone. Sobs and tears of this sort can get noisy as the hurt from DEEP WITHIN is released! God bless you sister-friend.

ijustneed2talk · 51-55, F

i have a decent health plan but even better is the behavioral health benefit portion of it. I left my ex husband, I believe it was the right thing to do. It's funny though how, now that it's all on me to decide for myself, I can sort of put myself in his shoes and it at least gives me some perspective on why he did and said some of the things he did.
i do have to say, i'm a little cynical when it comes to the classic romantic movie. Movies in general are a difficult thing for me. (that and grocery shopping, i don't know why). It's getting better.
I do know what you mean about seeing what a healthy marriage should be like and realize that wasn't what i had. I can't understand people who can fall in love after a divorce so quickly. i'm too afraid of making another poor choice.
thanks for your nice comments. :)