I Am Divorced

This morning I had my second last (I hope!) court proceedings held to settle the issues of my marital home. The gist of it was that my ex-husband does not want to compensate a single cent from the sale of my marital home and I am claiming at least 50% from it. So after the showdown by both lawyers today, I will only know the verdict in December. Waiting again. All this waiting game. I am starting to be unfazed by it.

Anyway, I had a glimpse of my ex-husband and my mother in law. I had the most strangest feelings about him now. It is funny how you had once lived everyday of your life sleeping and functioning daily with a partner and then we become strangers. Looking at him, it just felt like a dream. Years of memories all concise into a night's dream. So much sadness but relief that it is over as well. I wish we could just be civil but he chose to not have any form of communication with me and I guess it is best to give each other space because I am sure he hurts as well.

My mother in law too. We knew and met as friends and we were also travelling partners turned into family. Now she only texts me but in person, she does not speak to me.

I guess everyone is unhappy and heartbroken because I initiate this divorce.

What I write will not be enough to explain the mixed feelings inside. Probably I need a few days for my thoughts to sink in.