my mom gets mad when i act like her

my mom gets so mad when i act in the same way she does, she gets mad when i shout in arguments when she’ll happily scream at me non stop about the same thing over and over again, but once i raise my voice a tiny bit when trying to get my voice heard (because she doesn’t listen to me) suddenly im the one at fault? she had such a complex for respect but when she’s mad she can completely disrespect me? in the mornings, if im ever one bit tired/moody, she’ll call me selfish and disrespect, but when she literally yells at the top of her lungs because she’s tired suddenly it’s fine?? i’m so upset with her because she always thinks i’m lying, even when i haven’t lied to her and am completely open and honest 100% of the time, i’ve told her everything that she could possibly want to know yet she still doesn’t trust me. i ask to go to stay at a friends house, im 17, she immediately assumes im going to sleep with my boyfriend instead of being at my friends and calls me a liar and says the way i explain things is untrustworthy but i don’t understand what’s wrong with the way i explain things? when i was 15 i got diagnosed with depression, adhd and autism but anytime before this she would get so mad and not understand why i couldn’t do things. i will always remember her shaking my shoulders and screaming in my face “what is WRONG with you?!” when i struggled to do a simple task. she says my mood effects everyone else’s moods and gets mad at me when i show the fact im depressed but then constantly asks me to tell her what’s wrong and to come to her if i feel that way. whatever, nowadays she’s never available, i barley ever see her because the only thing she cares about is working, mom please just step back from the computer screen and realise the way you act is completely hypocritical