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I Cut Off Ties With My Biological Family

Have Your Siesta,Grand'Pa!... It was on Sunday,I asked my father if he would give me a lift to the next town ten kms away,so that I could meet with friends from work who had invited me to a movie,even before he could reply,my brother's wife had put her two Bobs's worth!"Oh! grand'pa you worked hard all morning,you need your rest and it is nearly time for your siesta!" I became agitated as I had promised my friends I would meet them but had not given much tought to what mood my father would be in when I asked him for transport. "Ok I will take you",my sister in law's face fell "But grand'pa,your siesta!" There was a mixture of smirk and glee on my father's face which should have made me pause had I not been so young and naive.
We set off,half way between my father's property and our destination he stopped the car and ordered me out,he then turned the car around and took off back to the farm,I was left in the middle of the road distressed and angry trying to decide whether to continue on foot,five kms is quite a walk,I would never make it on time and would I get a lift back? Returning home was the sensible thing to do so I took off my hight heel shoes and started walking barefooted,I don't know how long it took me to reach the farm,finally in the distance I could see my brother's wife get up from her deck chair and start walking towards me,she then stopped, arms akimbo,her face exultant!
My father was nowhere to be seen, I guess he was having his siesta!.
zeeva70
Your brother's wife reminds me of my sister-in-law. My mother can't think without her and my mother plays favorites. Very upsetting and hurtful.
zeeva70
I was thinking of going to visit my mother's church tomorrow to hear her speak but thinking of changing my mind after talking to her this evening. Very controlling, selfish, constantly worried about what other people think. Whenever I think that we can be "normal" for a bit, my heart feels like it's stabbed again.
berangere · 80-89, F
It is amazing the amount of phoney people one encounters in churches,they love to pontificate and give sermons when the first thing they should be doing is to take a good look a themselves.You do not have to put yourself through this,give yourself a break,I believe one should distance oneself from such toxic people regardless of family connection and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it! Stay home!
zeeva70
You're spot on!
OkCountryBoy
I think my dad was weird too but in later years seems my mom told me how his dad behaved a very straight laced banker, stern and cold.. like my dad.. I have heard women exclaim out loud : Egad, I've become my mother !!!! well I haven't become my dad not quite neither has any of my siblings but seems like I am more like my mom..
berangere · 80-89, F
Thank you for your comment.
OkCountryBoy
I think sometimes those kinds of things strengthen us later in life. We find out we are better for it. I hope you don't harbor hard feelings about that.
berangere · 80-89, F
Sadly I still feel the hurt,and have not quite forgiven him.
OkCountryBoy
I can understand that too.
OkCountryBoy
Yea my parents were a mess too.. it is difficult to forgive some people but you will be a better person by forgiving them. Time either heals or hurts and if it hurts it is best to find a better way and that in my opinion is finding it in your heart to forgive them.
I'm sorry i sound like I am preaching at you..
avatarunknown
Well I have to say, that is an abysmal way to treat anyone. I hope you have found your own, chosen family since then.
A caring supportive one.
berangere · 80-89, F
I have found wonderful friends.
avatarunknown
Glad to hear that.
berangere · 80-89, F
My brother and his dear wife.They look sweet don't they,never judge a book by its cover!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/p526x296/1002612_3526631941421_1160814720_n.jpg
climber1
So sorry it was so difficult for you; living with someone who got pleasure that way could not have been easy.
berangere · 80-89, F
He was always praising his nieces and the next door neighbour's daughter, but never a word of praise nor encouragement for his own daughter!
climber1
Obviously he had plenty of serious issues. Sorry you had to experience them.
berangere · 80-89, F
As they say,you cannot choose your own family but you can choose your friends.Thank you for caring.
zeeva70
I'm so sorry you had this painful experience. Sending you a (((((hug)))))
nelladell
I'm sorry for your disappointments.
berangere · 80-89, F
Some of us are not blessed with loving families.
nelladell
true.
Dcgpk
Geez, incredible. Sorry to hear this story. !
sinathamby
Lessons in attachments
berangere · 80-89, F
Or detachment,my father really taught me NOT to love him!

 
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