val70 · 56-60
You feel now that it's tought, but I can assure you that your niece will thankful to you for actually being there to offload. There's nothing really dangerous going on, just people trying to get through life. With teenagers I have the experience that the relationship goes better when one shows a futher interest in their likes and hobbies. I think that Korea has a lot of facilities to do sports. Always good to encourage both your sister and your niece to take up something where through they can work their angst and fustrations. Just thinking here. Good luck! :)
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@val70 Thank you 🩷 yes they do. The little one is going for soccer, the older one has more homework and new language to learn. I just hope time will heal.
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@GoFish oh no.. she loves her sis a lot and takes care of her. But maybe she is missing her old friends a lot and it is quite difficult to make friends that age. She is probably feeling left out. I try to be balanced with both. Very delicate situation.
Moving to a new area within a city is traumatic on a 14 year old, as they’re losing close friends they’ve relied on for support, but moving to another country is devastating!! Your sis really needs to connect with her daughter and establish the bonds of trust.
You’re wise not getting involved, other than being the shoulder in exasperating times! Wishing all the best. 🙏🤗
You’re wise not getting involved, other than being the shoulder in exasperating times! Wishing all the best. 🙏🤗
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@Quimliqer Yes, you are right. She is missing her friends a lot. Thank you ☺
4meAndyou · F
Just understand that what your niece and your sister are going through is quite normal...especially the teenage angst your niece is experiencing. It's PART of the growing up process. Be loving, and supportive of BOTH your sister and your niece, but do not give your niece any advice that contradicts what her mother is telling her.
When she turns 18 her brain will turn on and things will settle down. It is rough at her age not understanding what is happening and feeling half kid and half adult, which she is. It must be exponentially hard to live in another country like that. Maybe she should move back and live with you?
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@SoftIceCream Yea, that is not quite difficult too.. she needs to be with her family. Or else she might feel left out. Tough age 😵💫
You don't have to take sides. You can tell them both you are watching them both struggle with this move. You can stand up for both of them because you understand it's more the situation than a right or wrong scenario. Love them and support them both. Encourage them to take it easy on each other while they adjust.
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@EldritchFox That’s beautiful. Thank you.
pdockal · 56-60, M
All you can do is your best
My nephew went thru stuff with my sister but it was because his father didn't understand that my nephew was different and my sister coddled him because of it
I put my 2 cents in occasionally (when it was more then the normal stuff)
His dad came to understand him and my sister realized you can't coddle him
Just do your best
Allow you niece to vent but also let her know that her actions have consequences
Sometimes bil might have to choose family over money ?????
My nephew went thru stuff with my sister but it was because his father didn't understand that my nephew was different and my sister coddled him because of it
I put my 2 cents in occasionally (when it was more then the normal stuff)
His dad came to understand him and my sister realized you can't coddle him
Just do your best
Allow you niece to vent but also let her know that her actions have consequences
Sometimes bil might have to choose family over money ?????
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pdockal · 56-60, M
froggtongue · M
BetweenLines · 36-40, F
@froggtongue Thank you. I will suggest this. Hope things get better for them.