Strict sucks, but it's usually also good for you, getting yourself to be disciplined is good for one self... though it still sucks, even though it's good.

Strict but loving and taking care of you

Hang in there

Maybe strict is just the thing you need right now. It sounds as if you have gone through way more than most of us. Hopefully you are getting the help you need. And you will come through this. I'm certain you seem to have the discipline it takes to overcome so much. Hang in there. And make the best of the circumstances.

thats sad☹