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My parents have done many helpful things for me throughout my life.

They've also done things to traumatize me from childhood.

I feel horrible saying that second part because I know that they never meant to hurt me intentionally.

Recently, I watched a man give a speech. He teared up as he described the moment when he, his adopted son, and the biological father were sitting in court. The judge asked the child where his father was. The child turned toward him, and said, "Right there!"

I teared up listening to it because I know that I've failed to give my parents that kind of recognition and love. I feel like a monster.
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@CookieCrumbs Thank you
Boeing · 36-40
Parenting is a hell of a job and that's why I have avoided taking it so far.

It is interesting as of lately I am in close company of a lady who could be my mother and who have lost her daughter at 26 - she'd be 33 years old today, and I am 39 - in a sense I am bringing her something of her, and through our conversations I see being a parent from the other side. She has one daughter who is alive.

I was narrating some stories of my teenage and I was realizing how my parents have had completely lost control over me, as I was taking drugs already at 16. But whilst talking to her, she said how her daughter also had similar troubles and how she broke up later from her abusive husband...

My point here is, there are all sorts of stories. Even in happy marriages, there are hidden burdens, some sacrifices, abuse.

I think it is okay to see the whole spectrum, recognize our parents gifts but also our reality. Your reality is valid.
@Boeing Thank you, Boeing.
Boeing · 36-40
@SinlessOnslaught 💚
you're going through a lot of realizations, take time to reflect but don't stay in your head all the time, do something physical to take you out of your head and into your body..
@Boeing It's important. 💚
Its a real thing, hope you are managing all right. Most nurturance isnt all that pure, and the contradictions can mess us up terribly...

 
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