Im ALIVE! & i need advice! HELP
My nieces cotillion (quinceañera) is this weekend.
My niece is also my God Daughter.
My husband and his brother had a falling out 5yrs ago and we were not invited. But my MIL let it slip its this weekend.
I haven’t been in contact with her since my husband and his brother had a falling out because she didn’t have a cellphone back then (she was 10) and her dad and mom blocked our numbers.
In any case the one who was at fault here was my husbands brother. He lied to his mom about an argument that he and my husband had and told her (while she was living with us) that my husband was billing him for her room and board- not true! What my husband told him was that since he lives in the same town as us he shills visit her more often because she gets ready every Sunday in hopes that he’s going to come see her or pick her up and doesn’t show. At this time our second son was still in competitive youth Football and our sundays were spent on the field watch in our kids game and helping the organization with conscessions etc. and my husband felt bad that she would go because my BIL would promise to come see her and wouldn’t show.
So my BIL told my MIL that her presence in our home was bothersome to us.
So she packed her bags and threw her keys at my husband and he picked her her up and took her to live at his sisters 1hr away. She sleeps in a storage room tired bedroom.
My husband and his brother haven’t spoken since.
We ran into each other a few times and he pretended he didn’t know us and the two times I saw my niece and nephew they ran hl to me and gave me a big hug and hugged our little ones.
In our culture the baptism godparents are responsible for purchasing what the birthday girl will wear for her party;
The dress, earrings, necklace, ring and bracelet, tiara. This is an expense upwards of 1000 dollars some of those dresses are as expensive as bridal gowns and custom made. Plus the jewelry it easily climbs into an over 5k
Since we weren’t told when the planning started and weren’t invited my husband and I wanted to send her a monetary gift
A check she could deposit into an existing account, or one she could use to start a checking account.
I didn’t know if I could start a savings account for her in her name? 🤔
Anywho it wouldn’t match the value of all the items listed but we were thinking about $1000 to $1500
But I didn’t know what I could write in the birthday card, I didn’t know if I should mail it and it will arrive after her birthday part or if I should put it in a card and have my MIL give it to her.
(My husband and his mom have made amends and she is now aware of the situation that happened and how her other son lied.she visits us from time to time and has even dog sat for us while we went on a couple of trips, they are in a really good place right now and my children (20-2) love that she’s back in our lives.
So what can I write to express that I’m sorry that the adults are assholes and that she can still count on us even if her dad and godfather aren’t speaking.
My niece is also my God Daughter.
My husband and his brother had a falling out 5yrs ago and we were not invited. But my MIL let it slip its this weekend.
I haven’t been in contact with her since my husband and his brother had a falling out because she didn’t have a cellphone back then (she was 10) and her dad and mom blocked our numbers.
In any case the one who was at fault here was my husbands brother. He lied to his mom about an argument that he and my husband had and told her (while she was living with us) that my husband was billing him for her room and board- not true! What my husband told him was that since he lives in the same town as us he shills visit her more often because she gets ready every Sunday in hopes that he’s going to come see her or pick her up and doesn’t show. At this time our second son was still in competitive youth Football and our sundays were spent on the field watch in our kids game and helping the organization with conscessions etc. and my husband felt bad that she would go because my BIL would promise to come see her and wouldn’t show.
So my BIL told my MIL that her presence in our home was bothersome to us.
So she packed her bags and threw her keys at my husband and he picked her her up and took her to live at his sisters 1hr away. She sleeps in a storage room tired bedroom.
My husband and his brother haven’t spoken since.
We ran into each other a few times and he pretended he didn’t know us and the two times I saw my niece and nephew they ran hl to me and gave me a big hug and hugged our little ones.
In our culture the baptism godparents are responsible for purchasing what the birthday girl will wear for her party;
The dress, earrings, necklace, ring and bracelet, tiara. This is an expense upwards of 1000 dollars some of those dresses are as expensive as bridal gowns and custom made. Plus the jewelry it easily climbs into an over 5k
Since we weren’t told when the planning started and weren’t invited my husband and I wanted to send her a monetary gift
A check she could deposit into an existing account, or one she could use to start a checking account.
I didn’t know if I could start a savings account for her in her name? 🤔
Anywho it wouldn’t match the value of all the items listed but we were thinking about $1000 to $1500
But I didn’t know what I could write in the birthday card, I didn’t know if I should mail it and it will arrive after her birthday part or if I should put it in a card and have my MIL give it to her.
(My husband and his mom have made amends and she is now aware of the situation that happened and how her other son lied.she visits us from time to time and has even dog sat for us while we went on a couple of trips, they are in a really good place right now and my children (20-2) love that she’s back in our lives.
So what can I write to express that I’m sorry that the adults are assholes and that she can still count on us even if her dad and godfather aren’t speaking.
36-40, F
