I hate my mom's husband and I am living with them. The situation is starting to bother me. WWYD?
I have my own house in the next state - I dont have to live there. My mom's husband is a worthless coward who takes all of my family for granted despite the fact that his family is about 10X as large as ours. He has 5 adult sons over 45 years old and only sees one of them about twice a year. He has a brother who has not spoken to him for several years and 2 sisters who only call when they need money. He has over 20 grandchildren and has not laid eyes on most of them. Every now and then, some that he has never met call for money. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, he is with us because none of his family invites him. If we didnt give him gifts on holidays and birthdays, he would get anything. He is almost a complete idiot as he can just read and write a little - his claim to fame is defrauding the govt on disability benefits as he is a Vietnam veteran (one of a few who did damn near nothing over there). The only physical issues he has are the ones that he inflicted on himself in younger days of smoking and drinking. He is too dumb to know how to fix anything so I keep up all repairs and maintenance on the house, the 3 cars, their computers and phones that they barely know how to use, and any kind of personal business like financial and healthcare - I just helped them get back $14K from some bank fraud that was from a check that he lost somewhere. While they are not disabled, I am their caretaker, mechanic, tech guy, cook, handyman, and business manager. I do it because I love my mom. I use their old car.
He is egocentric and pompous because he was able to run and hide enough to make it back from Vietnam in one piece. He will shoot off his mouth, say the wrong thing without even knowing it, and insult people (this is why his brother is not speaking to him and his son's wife made his son ask him to apologize to her for calling her fat). He snaps on my mom on a regular basis - especially if she asks him to do something around the house - he thinks he should be able to sit on his ass while we do all the work and serve him.
His dementia is the excuse my mom makes for him - I dont buy it (even though I find his car running in the driveway when he is gone with my mom in her car because he cant even tell that he didnt shut it off). He has always been low IQ and only got out of high school because the military took him. I watched him let Valentines Day go by without doing a thing for my mom - I ended up taking her out a few years. He had to be shamed into acknowledging her birthday. He bought flowers for the mother of the guy who lives across the street - he had only spoken to her once.
He snapped on me once a few years ago when there was a plumbing problem that he caused that I was trying to fix. I needed to shut off the main water valve. He didnt know how to turn it on and he went off about how it was his house - not listening to what I was telling him needed to be done. I was so angry that I almost moved out that day. I am now starting to think I should have. My mother cant do anything with him. In fact, she seems to be starting to side with him when I tell her to stop taking disrespect from him - all while complaining and whining to me every day about how indifferent and inconsiderate he is to us, the house and everything in it and the cars. That is why I need to get a new job and move before things get worse. I dont like hating someone.
He is egocentric and pompous because he was able to run and hide enough to make it back from Vietnam in one piece. He will shoot off his mouth, say the wrong thing without even knowing it, and insult people (this is why his brother is not speaking to him and his son's wife made his son ask him to apologize to her for calling her fat). He snaps on my mom on a regular basis - especially if she asks him to do something around the house - he thinks he should be able to sit on his ass while we do all the work and serve him.
His dementia is the excuse my mom makes for him - I dont buy it (even though I find his car running in the driveway when he is gone with my mom in her car because he cant even tell that he didnt shut it off). He has always been low IQ and only got out of high school because the military took him. I watched him let Valentines Day go by without doing a thing for my mom - I ended up taking her out a few years. He had to be shamed into acknowledging her birthday. He bought flowers for the mother of the guy who lives across the street - he had only spoken to her once.
He snapped on me once a few years ago when there was a plumbing problem that he caused that I was trying to fix. I needed to shut off the main water valve. He didnt know how to turn it on and he went off about how it was his house - not listening to what I was telling him needed to be done. I was so angry that I almost moved out that day. I am now starting to think I should have. My mother cant do anything with him. In fact, she seems to be starting to side with him when I tell her to stop taking disrespect from him - all while complaining and whining to me every day about how indifferent and inconsiderate he is to us, the house and everything in it and the cars. That is why I need to get a new job and move before things get worse. I dont like hating someone.
