My dad found a reason to shout at me before it was even noon.

It upset me.

In my head, I imagined telling him that he shouldn't have had 8 kids because his temper is too high.

I thought about actually telling him that. It broke my heart to think about how it could effect him.

I remember being a small child. There were times I was terrified of him and his impulsive anger, and there were times I would forget about all of it and just be a happy kid. I miss those times.

Now I'm too hopeless to forget. I can never relax around him. He traumatized the small child in me and stole all his hope away.

I don't have the heart to tell him that.

Sometimes I get angry and I want to. But I shouldn't. One day, he will leave this life. I don't want him to regret anything.