I cannot take my family for granted

Even though they sometimes drive me crazy and my parents have been critical and controlling over how I dress. They consider me too bundled up and warmly dressed for the season or most seasons. They have made rude comments and insults sometimes. I was warmly dressed today but luckily my dad did not say anything. I think he was just too tired to nitpick on what I wore. He dropped me off at my grandparents house to spend time with them. My mom is working until about 10:00 pm tonight when she leaves her second shift in the lab. And my dad works overnights. My parents have told me I look like a Buffoon, clown, etc. with the way I dress sometimes which really ticks me off. Ot that it is a sickness and obsession with clothing or that I make myself look special needs. My grandparents occasionally have said something about the way I dress. My grandmother said my parents don’t want people to look at me funny and I layer up a lot which makes me look chubbier than I really am. When I told her I really did not want to discuss this matter she let it drop. My grandfather likes to tease and make jokes about my clothes that I’m really bundled up and he should walk on his speedo and together everyone will be looking at us in disbelief. Yeah not funny. Apart from that though my family takes care of me and is a close family. As long as they don’t. Try to control me or insult my clothes, they are fine to be around., granted my parents do not let me drive anymore though they give me rides wherever I need to go. When they are available. My grandparents also gladly give me rides. My sister drives herself around and I used to drive but my parents think it’s just too dangerous for me to be behind the wheel of a car these days especially with other aggressive drivers on the road and I get very angry and anxious. Dealing with them and they think I’m too easily distracted to be behind the wheel of a car. Yet I know despite everything they just want what is best for me and to minimize any danger or potential litigation brought upon me or this family. I may as well fully take advantage not in a bad way of spending time with my family while I can. My sister and extended family parents grandparents aunts uncles cousins will not be around forever. I already lost two grandparents my mothers parents. Even though my family does not fully understand me I know they love me and in most things they have tried to understand. Besides being rude and obnoxious about the way I dress and putting controlling stipulations about I should remove my outer cold weather accessories and coats when I’m in a restaurant and not letting me drive anymore, I am mostly free to do as I please. I can eat when I want, get up when I am ready, and have whatever hobbies/interests:/talents/passions/skills/aptitudes I like. I can be dropped off places to meet others or be by myself for a while like the library. My dad brought me to my recovery connection center groups and my family would like me to get out more . I have adult clinical community services taking over my case from department of mental health case management. My parents have offered to pay for me to take a class for the summer in something that I enjoyed so I would get regular social interaction. I know they care. My sister cares and thinks I can do much more than I am right now like I could finish my online vocational courses from knowadays.com and skillcrush.com and maybe get a part time job. She also says I’m smart and someday I could go back to school to finish my education but first I need to finish something I started like my courses. My extended family invites me to all sorts of gatherings like my cousins baby shower. I have refused to go out to eat with my parents for the most part because of their stupid controlling rules about how I dress inside of a restaurant. For some things though I can’t take them for granted because they will not always be around. They provide for me financially with the exception of disability benefits I get from the government. They cook for me and for everyone in the house and I have all my meals prepared. I know I should be more thankful that they take care of my depressed, lazy ass. I haven’t cleaned my room in months and my parents mostly leave my room alone. Also my parents sometimes threaten to take away my winter attire and put it in storage. I hate them when they do that. Sometimes I love them and other times I hate them for trying to control the way I dress and for prohibiting me from driving. It’s a complicated relationship. But I will never be as unburdened as I am right now. I will have to learn to grow up and take care of myself financially, physically, ans psychologically. As long as I take my pills see a psychiatrist and therapist, it’s enough to keep me from being institutionalized. Eventually I will live on my own or with other housemates and have full responsibilities of household maintenance and chores, household shopping and personal shopping, etc. I appreciate that my family has not put me in a group home. I don’t need constant supervision around the clock I’m used to spending a few hours at a time by myself. I even used to spend overnights by myself when my grandparents were 10 minutes away and my sister was at college. Otherwise if my grandparents were not around, I would stay at a relatives house for a few days because I needed to be fed and I needed rides to get around. My parents did not want me to be stranded at the house while they were in TN helping move my sister back. The part of me that loves my family is because they never turned their backs on me as I struggled with mental health disabilities and lack of motivation to change things in my life. As long as my family is healthy and alive I have some protection against the worst of the world. They are my legal and medical guardians after my last mental breakdown three years ago. The guardianship arrangement is not forever but just until I can understand and handle myself with medical and legal matters. My parents want to be able to protect me and advocate for me along with me advocating for myself so I never get put in an institution again and they get shut out legally. I do love my family for having my back. My family wants me to become high functioning so I can take care of myself with some supports in place. They envision a sort of supportive housing model for me. Independent living where I can have mental health supports but having no restrictions on my independence, autonomy, or freedom. I know I am way behind growing independent from my parents but I am disabled mentally. Luckily while I get better, they don’t require me to work or go to school to finish higher advanced education. Eventually I will go back to school to finish my degrees and hopefully finish my vocational courses with certificates of completion and diplomas. Eventually I want a remote flexible schedule career that I can work from anywhere. I hope I can find a living situation where I only need to work about 15-25 hours per week to live. At the very most 30 hours per week or its equivalent. Maybe I will not always need disability benefits.i should be thankful my family had taken care of me for this long.